serendipity ≫ mario götze

011

        “I will miss you being around,” Mario says when we both stand at the airport. There were a couple of other familiar faces, but the only one I really cared about is Mario. I helped him the entire afternoon picking clothing. He couldn't decide what would look best on him and I made him take off his shirt in front of me. He didn't seem to mind, but then he noticed that I made him do that on purpose. After that he somewhat seemed to enjoy it even more, I just giggled and enjoyed his fashion show. I have little sense of style so I told him what I thought and he usually did go for my opinion. He had stuffed his bag and then looked at me. He had asked me whether I would want to take him to the airport, because otherwise he had to ask his parents, whom he had already said goodbye to. They would come to Brazil a week later, when the first game of Germany would be played. And I still didn't know what exactly I should do. But I think I know now that I'm standing at the airport with him, surrounded by all these random strangers that I don't know.

        “I know, but I'll be around, you know,” I say, “It's not like you'll be gone forever.” He smiles and pulls me in for a hug. And I hug him back, tightly. I would really miss his company too. He's a great guy, a guy that I am grateful for meeting. I'm glad that I got to know him partially and that I'm still getting to know him. Paparazzi is flashing pictures and I'm not sure if I want to be the center of attention and whether Mario wants me to be known as his secret-lover or whatever. But he doesn't seem to care, because when he lets go, he presses a kiss on my forehead and it makes me feel all gooey from the inside. It makes me feel like I would melt down in a puddle of Lilly. And someone would need to mop me up, because I won't be able to function anymore. Some shouting from some people and everyone is saying goodbye to the players. I sigh and let Mario separate from me. He takes my hand and kisses it.

        “I'll dedicate my goals to you,” he says and slowly lets go of my hand. Sadness is flooding over me and just as he wants to let go of my hand, I pull him back towards me and I kiss him. And I don't care about the people around me. I kiss him and wrap my hands around him. I let go when I hear shouts from the other people. Mario has to go.

        “I'm sorry, I just couldn't let you go without kissing you,” I say, remembering what I said earlier the day. It's maybe wrong, but why should I care about it. I don't want to lose this great person that seems genuine about me. Mario smiles and gives me a quick kiss on my mouth.

        “You're great,” Mario says, “I'll text you as soon as I can, okay?” I nod and then it's time to let him go. I know I shouldn't, but I feel really empty and sad. I watch the team leave and Mario looks back at me and gives me a quick air kiss, it makes me blush and when they're out of sight I walk back to Mario's car. Let me just mention that his car is super expensive and I'm scared I'll scratch it. I drive it back to Mario's home and I find the bus back to my own apartment.

        I text a bit to Matthias and Viktoria telling them that Mario is now on his way to Brazil. And then I text Andreas, who enthusiastically texts me back that we should hang out alone some time and yes, I even text Lars, but I don't expect an answer from him back. The bus is crowded and I wonder why actually, but I don't bother.

        I still feel weird in a country where I don't completely speak the language. Talking to Mario in German does help, of course it helps, but it's not really my favorite thing to do. I'm afraid of making mistakes, but it's part of the progress. The bus stops and I get out and walk home. I mumble a song and I try not to think about Mario too much. My phone buzzes and I fish it out of my pocket, that is actually way to small for my phone. Honestly, the companies that make jeans should consider making the pockets in the female jeans also big and not like the fake pockets, because they're practically useless. It's a text from Lars. He's asking me whether I'm up for going to the cinema later. I don't know, but I find myself texting back that I would love to join him later tonight.

        Little did I know is that all the movies in the German cinemas are dubbed into the German language, so I had to keep my mind to the movie. Lars is very kind, he bought me popcorn and something to drink and it almost made me feel like this was a date. We went to some kind of romantic comedy, which is one of my favorite genres, but it surprised me that we weren't going to go to a horror movie, which was more Lars' style (at least that's what I assumed).

        We are now 30 minutes into the movie and there is this really romantic scene that makes me swoon completely. And I glare over besides me, to Lars, who apparently is enjoying this all too and I think it's endearing if guys go into a movie like Lars. I'm trying to concentrate on the movie, but I fish my phone out of my pocket to see if Mario has messaged me yet. He hasn't. It's logical, I mean the flight does take quite some time, but I wished I knew he was safe. I sip my cola and take another handful of popcorn, I rest my hand on the seat and then I feel a cold hand touching mine. My heart stands still and I peek at my hand. It's Lars' hand. I don't know what he is trying to do, so I pull my hand away. I feel him looking at me, but I don't dare looking at him.

        I continue watching the movie at a distance of Lars, because I'm not sure if it was coincidental or on purpose. He might have seen this as a date. He didn't say much and he didn't really know that I was currently in something with Mario either, so he might have gotten the wrong idea of it all. I did text him and we texted each other like friends, at least that's what I thought. But he might have thought of more. I wish he would just say something. The movie ends and the credits roll over the screen. The light switches off and now I have to get away here without hurting Lars' feelings. Because I only see him as a friend and never really thought of it otherwise. I thought he didn't like me, but for some reason, it all comes together. He must have liked me. As in like like me. And that's why he always kept quiet on the background.

        “Thanks for tonight,” I say as we stand by his car. He decided to wait for me until I got in the bus. I insisted it would be no problem, but he said he didn't mind.

        “Yeah...eh...we could do it again sometime,” Lars says and he looks at me.

        “We should yeah, but then not a movie, because it took me some time to understand it,” I say laughing, “Too German for me.” He laughs with me and it feels all awkward. It's like the tension between me and Mario, but different.

        “Then we don't go to a movie, we could always go get something to eat or something, I guess,” Lars says and he combs his hands through his hair. I'm not sure if that's meant as romantic or not, but it flatters me somehow.

        “Sounds good, we should hang out some more, you're a cool guy,” I say, “We could become good friends.” I purposely said that to see how he would react, but he didn't show a sign of disappointment.

        “Totally,” he says enthusiastically, “I'll text you later, I think your bus is coming.” He points in the distance and I nod. 

         “Thanks again,” I say, “We'll talk later.” I get in the bus and pay for a ticket and sit down. I'm still trying to get it all together. I have no idea how to feel now. I think it's best that I just go to sleep and wait for the new day.