Visions and Daydreams

Cheyenne

She laid awake, her left hand resting on her bare stomach as her blue eyes drifted to the ceiling, causing her mind to wander with a sense of guilt, thrill, and disgust. Dropping so low and desperate wasn't her plan, and finally realizing the situation she had pushed herself into made her question if she would now be considered a full blown home wrecker.

Sleeping with a married man - a married father. Does she really think so low of herself? Having sex with someone else's spouse in secrecy? The worst part - the part that made her stomach churn and her throat clog with pain from holding back tears - the affair this man shared with her had been going on for months.

Or has it been a year?

She sighed, placing her palm on her forehead with a groan as the man who shared the bed she laid upon shifted, turning over to face her as he began to wake up. She watched as he did so, admiring his handsome features; his brown hair lightly falling over his eyes, pink lips that curved naturally, and a smooth, chiseled face that easily made her heart pound with want. Biting her lip and looking away, she closed her eyes before she dared to stealthily climb out of bed and slip on her underwear, the room was too dark to tell what color they were and she didn't remember what she dressed herself in the morning before. She hooked her bra back over her breasts and slipped her blue jeans and red t-shirt back on, grabbing her white sneakers and carrying them between her middle and index fingers in her left hand. Looking back at the sleeping man once more, she huffed and creaked open the door, peeking outside into the hallway and attempted to walk out until the sound of squeals and giggles could be heard, along with loud, running thumps. Gasping and retreating back into the room, she closed the door and pressed her back against it.

A hotel - why did I agree to a hotel? She thought this to herself as the man groaned and leaned up in the bed, looking down at where she once laid and then to the door where she now stood. He raised an eyebrow, looking her up and down as he realized that she was fully dressed.

"What time is it?" He spoke as if he were wide awake and she could already tell he was not happy.

"Ju-just... early.... I-I'm not too sure." She spoke with a nervous quiver in her voice and tried to chuckle to make herself seem more calm, but it only made her seem guilty of something.

He sat up completely, sitting on the edge of the bed and running his fingers through his hair, the thin sheets covering his lower half which made her blush. In shame, she could feel her body grow aroused and rubbed her legs together. The sight of this man in his waking state was enough to make her feel the need to jump back into bed with him, but she rejected the urge and held onto the doorknob behind her.

He looked up at her with grey eyes, "Where are you going?"

"No where!" She bit her tongue and scrunched backwards, knowing that she spoke louder than needed which made her seem suspicious, "Just, you know, downstairs. For breakfast."

He shook his head and clicked his tongue, "You're a terrible liar, Cheyenne." The man stood, the sheets falling off and showing his manhood, causing Cheyenne to look away completely; she didn't need to feel temptation now. As she looked away, he dressed himself in blue jean pants and a casual white, long sleeved shirt.

"What do you mean?" Cheyenne tried to speak as if she had no clue what he was talking about, but both could see through her charade.

He looked back at her with a smirk, "You're switching the roles."

"Roles?" This time, Cheyenne was actually clueless.

"Oh, you know," He strode over to her, a white smile on his face, "I always leave before you wake up. You text me, calling me a jerk and that you never want to see me again, but I always have you wrapped around my finger by the next weekend." He placed his hand on the door over her shoulder, placing his lips inches away from hers which made her gulp and forced herself not to push up against him, "I have to admit, it is cute that you tried." He chuckled and moved himself closer.

Cheyenne pushed her head on to the door, making her lips move away from his. He took this as a tease and pressed his hand onto her womanhood. As much as she wished for it to continue, she held her breath and pushed the door handle down, making the door swing open. She struggled to keep her balance and ran out of the way before he could fall on top of her. A giant thud and grunt could be heard from behind her, and she kept running until she exited to the street in front of the hotel, the socks that she wore soaking in a puddle that she stood in. Cheyenne groaned in irritation as she attempted to hail a cab, but was ignored. She didn't want to stay near the hotel much longer and hesitantly reached for her phone that she had placed in her shoe. Looking at its screen, she could see that the phone only had, surprisingly, been at eighty six percent battery life and saw a couple of missed calls and texts from her roommate.

Knowing that she had no other options, Cheyenne dialed her roommates number and listened as it rang several times.

"Where the fuck are you?" The sound of her angry roommate could be heard after the tenth or so ring.

"I'm... at a hotel." Cheyenne spoke softly, already feeling her roommate judging her.

"Of course you are. You do understand that I made guacamole for us? You wanna know why?"

"Movie nigh-"

"Movie night! That's why! I paid five dollars for a damn crappy horror movie so that we can bash on it, and you just ditched me!"

"I'm sorry, Phoebe.... Really, I am. Just...." Cheyenne's voice cracked, "Please come get me.... Please...."

Phoebe sighed on the other line, "Alright. Fine. What's the hotel?"

"The Victory Hotel."

"Are you fucking -" Phoebe groaned and the phone grew silent for a moment, "Why the hell are you all the way downtown?"

"I had a... a date. Thing just kind of-"

"Don't continue that. Please. Your sex life makes mine seem depressing."

Cheyenne chuckled, "Trust me, yours in more intriguing."

"I'm still a virgin, Cheyenne...."

"Exactly."

Cheyenne knew she was shameful, she knew that everything she'd done in her past had made her current self into someone she couldn't recognize. She was intoxicated with sin, with horror in her own self, and burned a fiery path of coming mistakes. How could she do this to herself? What did she do in her own life that started a sickening spiral of betrayal and unimaginable pain?
She lived most of her life happily, able to move past her own mishaps and could find pride in herself. Now, she stood in severe depression where she felt alone. Things needed to change. They had to change.
One deep breathe, and it snapped - it's time to start over.