Chapter Twenty-Six

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Today was New Year's Eve and there was a concert tonight in the city. August Alsina and Bryson Tiller were touring together and I was ready to go see this concert. Dababy was also supposed to come on stage since he's from our city. Kia never pulled up at the club and now my image was kinda screwed. There were two sides: Kia's and then mine. I still had youtube fans that were nice and then those who believed me so it was all good. The fact that I tried to fight Kia actually made people like me. Me and Mandy were currently in our Uber going to the concert then we were going to the after party, so I had to look good.

"Mandy take my photo for the gram and then one for Snapchat." I told her handing her my phone.

"You really have to flex on everyone every chance you get." She said.

"Yes I do." I replied before posing.

"That looks good, post it

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"That looks good, post it." She said handing me my phone back. I looked at it then immediately posted it on Instagram. I looked a lot skinnier than I ever had before but I wasn't complaining. I then opened snapchat to take a selfie with Mandy saying we were going to the concert.

"Do you think Jeremiah will be there?" Mandy asked me.

"Duh he listens to Bryson Tiller, he probably knows him." I answered.

"And you're not afraid to see him?"

"He'll be backstage probably." I told her.

"The after party is going to be way better than the concert." She said laughing. It didn't take long for us to get to the concert and before I knew it we were handing our tickets to workers and making our way to our floor seats.

"Aren't you excited? Why are you so quiet?" Mandy asked me.

"I'm just kind of out of it." I answered which was true. I hadn't taken any type of drugs today and I felt awful without it, that couldn't be good.

"Do you need a boost?" Mandy asked me probably understanding exactly what I needed.

"No, it's fine I want to be sober for this." I told her looking towards the stage. I always loved concerts, they were the best vibes and I was surrounded by people with the same music taste as me. But even though I was in a crowded arena surrounded by crowds of people smoking, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I hated my brain I just wanted to stop thinking about him, but I couldn't. Everywhere I looked there was a reminder of him, whether it was other couples or something more specific. I felt the anxiety creep over me as I thought more about him. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack and burst into tears, it's like I needed him. The sadness that I couldn't contact him and that he didn't need me in the same way destroyed me.

"You sure you're okay?" Mandy asked me, looking at me with a bit of worry in her face.

"Yeah I changed my mind, I need a blunt and hennessy." I answered.

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