I'll Keep Believing:Frerard:~Sequel to Born To Lose~

Chapter 6:I Choose Defeat

-Chapter Title Credit:Fake Your Death by MCR-

Gerard found himself standing infront of the cemetery gates sobbing.

He hadn't been allowed to come here anymore.

The doctors were scared it would cause Gerard to have a break down.

But Gerard didn't care.

Not today.

Not after what had just occurred with Mikey.

He reached his shaky hands forward and pushed the gate open,causing it to make a eerie creaking sound.

He had been away for far to long.

As he stepped inside a small ounce of relief washed threw him that he hadn't felt in years.

He was finally home.

Gerard weaved throughout the tombstones until he came to a stop infront of the one he had spent most of his years next to.

"Hi Grandma,"His voice broke as he sat down in his usual spot.

Gerard hugged his knees to his chest,resting his chin on his arms as he stared up at the blue sky.

Maybe Mikey was right.

Frank wasn't coming back.

Its obvious.

Its been 4 years.

Gerard should have known better than to believe such a silly thing.

Frank was probably happy somewhere and Gerard was nothing but a faded memory that would be forgotten.

Any time Gerard thought things like this he would scold himself.

He would say out loud,"I'll Keep Believing."

Because he had to keep believing.

What is he suppose to do with himself if he didn't have hope?

But he didn't do that.

Not this time.

Frank was gone.

Gerard couldn't blame him for not trying to find him.

He was worthless and unwanted.

He's known that since high school.

He was going crazy and he didn't care anymore.

He had fought so hard to stay alive.....for nothing.

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Frank took a deep breath and Jersey air filled his lungs causing him to smile.

He was finally back where he belonged.

It took all of his self restraint to not go running,trying to find the beautiful red haired boy that stole his heart.

Its not like he could just burst into the Way household calling for Gerard.

Gerard probably wasn't even there anymore.

He had turned 21 not to long ago,Frank kept track.

Gerard probably left as soon as possible.

But he was still in Jersey.

Frank could feel it.

The only place Frank could think of to find him was the cemetery.

Gerard loved it there,so he must still visit.

Frank could hardly control himself as the hours ticked by tortuously slow.

He couldn't even eat the vegetarian take outs Isobel ordered for him for dinner.

Alex noticed the smile on Franks face as Isobel declared she was going to bed.

He grabbed Franks arm and whispered,"Be careful."

Frank nodded and Alex let him.

Frank was out the front door in  .2 seconds.

He was going to check out the cemetery.

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Gerard didn't even realize it had turned dark until the harsh Jersey night air howled against his pale skin viciously.

He shivered drifting into reality.

He was so numb and his face was covered in dried tears.

He blinked a few times before looking around at the now dark cemetery.

He didn't want to leave.

Not now.

Not ever.

But he knew he couldn't just sit there.

Somebody was bound to come looking for him and take him away eventually.

He slowly rose to his feet and began to walk.

But not towards the entrance of the cemetery.

Towards the back.

He wanted to see the spot where he had met Frankie.

He needed to see it.

It had been so long ago,it felt like a lifetime.

He reached the spot where the tree loomed next to the fence,stopping abruptly with a small jolt of shock.

The noose that had been around Franks neck was still hanging there,Waiting.

Gerard was tired.

He didn't want to feel the ache in his chest anymore,knowing it would never go away.

He tried filling it with alcohol and drugs.

But it wouldn't work.

The only 'drug' he needed was Frank.

He swallowed thickly and made his way to the fence,pulling himself up to sit on it much more smoothly than the first time he had tried.

He shivered again and reached out,allowing his slender pale fingers to brush against the rope dangling from a tree branch.

The irony,He mused darkly studying it.

He could still see Frank sitting in the same position he was currently in,rope around his neck and ready to end his life.

Gerard hoped Frank was happy.

That he finally realized he was beautiful and he deserved the best life possible.

Gerard let out a shaky sob....

And then he placed the noose around his neck.

He never thought of this as being his end.

Not on the fence with the same rope he had saved Frank from.

But there he was,cold,scared,hurting and so fucking alone.

.....and there was no Frank to save him.

His thoughts drifted threw all his precious memories of Frank.

He remembered some of the lines from the song he had wrote him,"I'll fail and lose this fight,Never Fade In The Dark,Just remember you will always burn as bright."

Gerard did fail to be strong.

He lost the fight to hold onto hope.

It was as if his younger self knew one day he would give in and he just hoped Frank would never fade in the dark.

Gerard sighed,"I Choose Defeat."and tightened the rope on his neck,readying himself to slide off the fence and end it.

-Daw Gee no :c  I felt so bad writing this.-ChemicalSkeleton