What's a Girl to Do? (Season 2)

Chapter Five: In Too Deep

I remembered the days that lead up to my hospitalization, and recalled how dark they all truly were as time went on. It was after I'd heard the conversation with Ian and Fiona, and before my final heart-to-heart with Ian that my twin had asked Trevor to sit with me. Trevor seemed all for lending a sympathetic ear, and now that we truly seemed on the same page, he seemed all too prepared to spend some time with me. I just lay on the bed mostly, staring at the ceiling, and giving noises or one-worded responses to his questions or thoughts.

"Why do you think you're like this?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Can't say."

"Hey, that's more than one word—guess this is improving," he said.

"Eh," I replied.

"Okay...back to the one-word response. It's okay—we can still work with that," he went on, not one to give up so easily. "Come on, Murphy. I know this isn't just something you can scream, 'Snap out of it!' at, but, come on. Know that we're here to support you."

"Ian's worried about the baby," I say, my mind screaming at myself for saying so. It had been an unspoken discussion between Ian and I not to reveal the circumstances of my becoming pregnant. Of course, Trevor knew the abridged version, and that, we'd somehow agreed, was where it should remain.

"Well, sure, since this is how you've been acting," Trevor replied. "Fuck, even I'm worried about the baby..."

I found my hands moving instinctively to my stomach. "Fiona says that she knows how Ian feels about the baby, and that he wants me to have it..."

"Well, Ian knows how much being a mother means to you," Trevor said. "He's being supportive, of course, because he's your brother."

I sighed, not taking my hands off my midriff. "Fiona knows I wanted a biological link to myself for as long as I can remember, but I think I chose the wrong person to sleep with..."

"You mean generally?" Trevor asked, and I looked over at him, my eyes not quite focusing upon him, although I could clearly make out his outline. "Look, I know you know I know about Lip, but that wasn't your fault, Murph. It wasn't."

I shrugged. "Not Lip."

"Your boss's son?"

"No, I mean the baby's father," I replied. "I made a mistake," I went on, the tears coming out of my eyes before I could stop them, although my voice remained emotionless. "I take one too many drinks and—boom!—I'm pregnant a few weeks later..."

"You said you went down to Mexico after realizing that Lip was your brother, and all the Gallagher's your biological family..." Trevor said.

"Yeah," I said softly. "And landed into a big bath of mistake..."

Trevor gave a stiff nod. "Was... Was he a stranger? The baby's father?"

I sighed. "I hadn't met him face-to-face, but he wasn't a stranger...not to me."

"Who's the father, Murphy?" Trevor asked, and I could tell by the tone of his voice that there was no room for a wrong answer.

I found his face in the room again, knowing that I appeared as dead-eyed and as emotionless as they came. "I think you already know the answer to that, Trevor."

"Jesus Christ, you've fucking done it now—how's Ian supposed to cope with all this, or didn't you even consider him?" Trevor whispered, dragging his hands through his hair before getting to his feet and walking towards the door. He hesitates for a moment before turning around on the threshold and just staring at me for a moment. "Why the fuck do you have to run out and just ruin every goddamn thing in this life, Murphy?!" he whispers before leaving my room and slamming the door behind him.