What's a Girl to Do? (Season 2)

Chapter Six: Knocking on Heaven's Door

My eyes spring open then, and I am assaulted by the bright lights that surround me, sterilization filling my nose in the next moment. Once I'm aware that the only thing pinning me down is an I.V., and that my face isn't covered by anything, I feel my heart pounding through my chest. I look around then, seeing that my room is empty, and I frantically look for a call box, so as to summon someone, anyone, in here to tell me what's going on. I remember speaking to Trevor the night before, and something about Ian being in a car accident. And yet, I didn't recall why I would need a hospital bed, I thought to myself, pressing the call button, hoping that someone would come in here to be with me.

The door opened a few moments later, and I was shocked to see Josh entering the room, a look of sympathy on his face. He stepped forward then, perching on the chair next to my bed, the look in his brown eyes grave. "Murphy, I am so sorry."

"Ian?" I whispered, hoping to glean new information from the four words he had given me. Yes, it all made sense now; I'd likely heard about the accident, and rushed to the hospital, but, upon hearing a potential diagnosis, I'd fainted. Yes, that must've been it... "Where's my brother?" I said softly, my throat dry from likely dehydration. "Where's Ian? Please... I need Ian," I whispered to him, my voice desperate, as tears blinded me then. "Ian..."

Josh shook his head. "Ian will be fine," he said gently. "He's in the recovery suite, having just got out of surgery. But it's you we need to worry about, too, Murphy."

"Me? Why me?" I asked, shaking my head at him. "Ian was in a car accident. Clearly, he's the main priority here..." I move to take the I.V. out of my arm, but Josh leans forward then, catching my hands to prevent me from doing so. "Don't touch me!" I cry out, yanking away from him, and Josh holds up his hands.

"I'm sorry, Murphy," he says. "But I can't allow you to do that. You need your rest, as much as Ian does."

"Why the fuck would I need to rest?!" I demanded.

Josh's eyes widened. "You really don't have a clue why you're here, do you?"

I scoffed, growing annoyed with him. "I fainted after I heard the news about Ian," I said, giving him a 'duh'-like expression. "Of course that's what happened."

"You passed out, yes, but it wasn't from that, Murphy. It was from the amount of blood you were losing, and the rate you were losing it."

I shook my head, attempting to pick my brain to remember something, anything, from the night before, and coming up empty. "I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about."

Josh maneuvered his clipboard from one hand to the other, almost as if he was reluctant to tell me something about myself. "Murphy, we did everything we could, but unfortunately, it was too late to do much of anything..."

I felt something shift inside me then as tears entered my eyes. I found myself gripping the hospital blanket as I stared at him, and, when I spoke, I sounded strained. "What do you mean you did everything you could?" I whispered. "What are you talking about?"

"Murphy, unfortunately when you arrived, you were in the advanced stages of labor, and, unfortunately, you have suffered a miscarriage," Josh confirmed.

I lowered my eyes then, my mouth opening then as I felt as if I'd been punched in the gut. I couldn't control myself then, the tears flowing faster now, as I heard a scream of anguish from somewhere far away. After a moment, I realized the sound was coming from me, and I just couldn't contain it. I felt Josh put a hand upon my shoulder, and say something to me, but I was too far gone to listen to him. Once I heard the door of my room closing, I lowered my face completely into my hands and sobbed.