I knew it was gonna happen.
That one slight moment in my life that I would see his photo again after months of not seeing a speck of him anywhere except in my dreams. I dreaded it.
But, I saw him. I saw his face, and I stopped breathing, going into a panic mode. My anxiety was through the roof, just by seeing his face.
I closed out of my computer faster than I have ever done anything in my life. Shaking visibly, all I could do was stand up and pace around, counting my stress away.
One, two, three, four. On and on and on and on. 309, 310, 311, 312. It seemed to never stop. 872, 873, 874, 875, 876-. I took a breath and sat back down. My anxiety, still there, but at a controllable pace now. Much less time than the last time I had an attack made by his actions. Considerably more than the last time I had a personal attack.
I need to walk it out, but there is nowhere to walk to where I am at, just my tiny apartment. I have nowhere to drive to for I have no car. Why will I always have this man attack me in my mind, months after he had exited my life, months after I left my old life to give myself a break without destroying his own life?
-Ginger Daile
