The morning sun rising over the mountain.
Mist rising from the melting ice below.
Time slows down at this moment.
It releases me from my duty.
Night fell with the leaves.
Twigs break beneath each step.
Climbing higher and higher to my goal.
This was the trip that started the night before.
Who would wonder that I am gone?
Where is the one who leads?
What could have brought her to this?
Why did she leave us behind?
My head shakes at the thought.
I was in need of a desperate break.
Snow began to fall in the freezing night.
I blended well within it.
As far as I knew, I was the outcast.
Many places I had traveled.
All casting me aside.
Thirteen worth tryings, all to end in with me climbing.
Climbing this mountain that I call home.
I haven't left it behind like I had thought.
I dream of solitude in my sleep.
Knowing that I'll get it when I awake.
The solitude of what I beg for is
The solitude of feeling of being needed,
The solitude of knowing I should be somewhere.
This solitude is different from what I got.
What I got was trouble.
What I got was greed.
What I got was lust.
It was all that was against me.
I do well in the snow.
It keeps me cold.
It lets me hide.
It shelters me from what is outside.
Pain and sorrow are what I feel.
Especially when he is near.
I haven't seen him in a year,
But the memories keep him coming.
I start to believe that he is gone.
But little things pop out at me.
Reminding me of what was.
What I had left behind.
A smell on something he never touched.
His attitude displayed on someone unknown.
His favorite things that collide with mine.
The way I walk and the way he criticized.
The things I can no longer do.
The movies I can no longer see.
The books I can no longer write.
Because he is all that I can dream.
I can no longer have a simple touch.
I hide from the laughter I can give.
I stay away from everyone.
In hopes that they stay away from him.
I wish that it was not this way.
A year it has been, it has gone away.
My trusting in people had turned sour.
All I was left with was a wish.
A wish to forget.
A wish to forgive.
A wish of what I needed most.
A friend who did not betray me.
Back to my climb, I must regret.
But others I see along with me.
A rabbit, an old friend.
Who for ten years, kept me from the end.
He knew well of what had happened.
He talked with me and drew me back.
He brought along someone else.
A little songbird, who would listen along.
She quieted her song.
She listened well.
She held onto me tight.
Whispered that it was to be alright.
A year later and it was better.
I was far from the top of the mountain.
I haven't climbed again, and I hope I don't.
But it never ends.
I had made camp here.
The songbird, the rabbit, and myself.
But the summit is far away.
My end is not for today.
My dreams had returned normally.
No more glimpses of him in my mind.
Just a painful memory that was cast aside.
From that friend who betrays.
I had to write 100 lines of poetry for my class, and I could only get 84 lines. Still made half the class cry.
I actually started this poem as a rewrite to Mountain Glory, a short story I wrote three years ago in high school. It decided to go into a different direction due to finishing up a personal narrative not five minutes before starting this. Overall, a bad idea that turned into a good idea, I believe.
This poem/chapter is dedicated to Tim and Brooke. Both are starting their own families, but they have a place in their lives for a broken heart like mine.
