a love message

chapter 1

I will never forget this awful day even if i want to in all of my heart. Even if i fall into a coma and i'd get amnesia

That will make me forget everything I've been through i still won't be able to forget.

I can see dad's eyes sticking out their chimneys and i swear i never saw them being that blue before. He was watching helplessly as the ship was sinking from afar. Flames are eating the ship alive in eager and the stormy weather is not adding any good to this horrifying picture. It looks like the sky is crying as well as the people on board who may never see another sunrise.

My dad is holding my hand tightly while we're both floating on a lamber he managed to get a hold to when we fell into the deadly sea.

I was just a little kid by then and i didn't understand what was happening. I swallowed a lot of water and dad insisted i would grip the lamber as hard as i possibly could . I was tired and confused and couldn't take in and adjust to the thunder that got our ship - the one who was supposed to take us to Scotland - on fire and buried alive fifty passengers including my mom and both my older sisters Odette and Agatha. The captain of the ship couldn't make a contact with land because everything was already on fire when he found out we're all doomed and just like this in the middle of our relaxed sailing our cruel destiny was chosen. We were never gonna see them again, Mom, Oddete and Agatha, that was supposed to get married in a week to her boyfriend that she was dating for five years on a beautiful beach in Scotland. But they were all gone, forever. .

Dad was barely ably to get us to safe land before collapsing unconscious on the sand and from there its all blurry and useless to try and remember. My dad was looking to buy the loneliest place for us to live. A place where no one could ever get to us. To me. He became obsessed with protecting me and never let me out of his sight. He got a great deal on an abandoned old tower on the edge of Scotland where the most amazing view of the beach was seen through my window and the noise of the waves crushing was like a background music for as long as i remember myself. At the beginning i was just told not to leave the tower cause of the rainy weather that got us so often but then as i grew older and wiser i understood. Dad didn't want me to leave the huge old tower, ever. He said it was for my own good, that the world outside was cruel and selfish and no one will hesitate to hurt me. I was safe here by myself with my too many toys and and more books then the local library can own. I was spoiled with every new modern technology that was ever out for kids, I had dressers that princesses could only dream about and piles and piles of movies to watch (even those who are not out for public to see yet..). Yes, i was kind of spoiled but to tell the truth, i never felt like this. I felt blackmailed and lonely and pathetic. I had no one to share all of this with except with my imaginary friends i had no choice but to invent. For fourteen years i was locked in the freaking tower left to amuse myself day after day and live to the hope that one day im gonna run away. Run so far and never look back until i will lose the feeling in my feet and finally reach the end of the world.

Aside from this i wasn't allowed to talk to anyone. Not even the mail man. Anyone could've been dangerous for me. Anyone. I wasn't even allowed to pick up the phone, I was supposed to be totally and entirely invisible to the world and that what i was. For so long i watched the view change. Summer became winter and then it gave spring its place and showed up again the next year like it promised.

People never came here. Nor animals. Only birds. Thousands of them in every kind and color and i never was more jealous of something like i was jealous of their wings. These who carried them everywhere and anytime they wanted. i wanted them. I needed them. Desperately.

In the end dad couldn't take my depression anymore and got a housekeeper for us. It wasn't easy at all to pick one because of my dad's too many questions and background checking. Each woman who came left as fast she could and i didn't blame her, he was horrifying and when we alomst gave up there was one woman who stayed when she watched me watching her with so much hope and fear and she could bear my dad's craziness and in the end stayed till this day. Fay was her name and i loved her so much. She was like my own mom who i barely remembered.

And that's was my life. I learned not to ask questions on why i wasn't allowed to step out and who exactly will try to harm me outside the tower but like i said before, I was hanging on to my dreams and they only got bigger every day. I will live my own romance novel i was totally ready for it ,the books i read got me ready for this moment. I will make the man i will love to fall in love with me at first sight. I believe I'm worth so much more then being locked here for the rest of my life and i will damn prove it.