I roughly wiped the tears from my eyes and shoved the letter back into the trash. Swiftly, I shut off my phone and opened the front door. Jin stormed inside and swiped my phone from my hand.
"Unlock it Jisoo," He said and I gulped at that request. "Why? Is something wrong?" I tried my best to play it off and act innocent but, Jin wouldn't buy it. He scoffed and pinned me to the island counter.
"Do as I say. Do I look like I'm stupid? I go out for a few minutes and I knew you were going to open it. Why aren't you loyal?" He growled and I simply gulped before obeying his command. The video replayed as her scream relapsed through my head, his merciless punches being thrown at her defenseless body.
"So you're on her side now? After all I've done for you?" His body pressed up against me gave me an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach as the marble counter cut into my spine. What had gotten into him? Why am I always such a push over?
Who was lying? I had no idea anymore.
I pushed him away and snatched my phone from his grip. "So what? You're going to kill me too? And what exactly did you do for me? Last time I checked, I gave you shelter and defended you despite other people judging me. Not the other way around. Jin, why did you do that?! Wendy was just blindly following. Why did you hurt her?" I grasped his shoulder and looked him straight in the eye. I wanted to deceive myself and say that his eyes softened, but my eyes did not lie when I saw him harden, his gaze only colder and stern.
"You really want to do this don't you? Who comforted you when you had no one? Who supported you when no one was there? It was me! I did that because of you! Despite the fact that she was a follower, she still hurt you! She was weak-willed and easily influenced. I'm protecting you and you get mad at me for it?" He no longer pressed against me as he backed away as if scanning me like a foreign object.
"Jin. You can't act like this. Don't tell me you found it justified just because of what's going on in this world. You manipulated me and took advantage of the situation. Why didn't you consult me? I never shared my thoughts on her? Just because she hurt me doesn't mean she should die! What world do you live in? What you did was really strange and out of hand."
As soon as the particular world slipped out of my mouth he froze and a whole new level of dangerous and malicious was plastered all over his shocked face. I could feel him looking down on me, his eyes wide and posture unstable as he approached me suddenly.
"What did you call me? I did something for your sake, you can't thank me? When I got bullied you looked down on me. Now when I help you, you still look down on me? What can I do to satisfy you?" He looked insane and deranged as his blank stare pierced through my own, my conscious unaware of what to do.
I could tell his thinking process was different at that moment. He seemed normal on the outside but was so much more complicated in his interior. He didn't think like me. He couldn't empathize with me. I couldn't make him understand in the way I would do with a normal person our age. He was like a child, in theory.
I sighed and clasped his hands in my own.
"Jin, please listen to me. Don't do that ever again. I didn't mean to call you that, I'm sorry. But, next time you want to act on something that involves me, please tell me first. We think differently and I think we need to understand each other better. But, after what you just did I might need a bit of space. You can still stay here but, I don't know if I will be as comfortable as I was before."
I was lying. I was absolutely terrified. I restrained my shaking when I held him and tried to hide any hint of fear from my face. But feelings do not just simply go away. No matter how messed up and crazed he was, I still was attracted.
He seemed closed off and trapped, but he coped with it in a different way. I wanted to understand him, but now I opened my eyes and saw we didn't know much about each other in the first place. We were different people but, I wanted to make it work. So, I had to change him, gradually.
His face softened and I could feel that previous warmth again, I knew he was a good person. He looked down shamefully before rubbing my hand and walking back upstairs.
"I'm sorry, Jisoo."
YOU ARE READING
l e g a t o // jinsoo
Fanfictionadverb & adjective - in a smooth, flowing manner, without breaks between notes. ~ they only have two months of survival, before an asteroid destroys the earth. two months to resolve their problems. two months to finally be free. ~ - an instal...