adverb & adjective - in a smooth, flowing manner, without breaks between notes.
~ they only have two months of survival,
before an asteroid destroys the earth.
two months to resolve their problems.
two months to finally be free. ~
- an instal...
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( flashback 2 out of 2 ) - jin
I was the most handsome man in my entire school.
Their envious smiles satisfied me as I laughed at their jealousy. But, they all kissed up to me since they knew what it took to not become an outcast. I looked at all of them, even the girls, and quickly evaluated their faces. I smirked in confidence and heard them swoon.
The end result was always the same. No matter how great their features was, it could not compare to my own.
I was still more handsome.
That was the only thing I had. My face. And if my face was no longer beautiful, what would my life come to? Beauty will get you to the top, no doubt. It would be a sin to not cherish a face like mine. I'm putting it to good use, to fulfill the gifts given to me.
I was superior.
Until I came to High School.
Irene. They all liked her.
I was no longer the one with the best looks. We had to share the status and I didn't like sharing what was rightfully mine. Because I need to be the best flower they've ever seen.
She liked me and I laughed at her internally. The situation was absolutely perfect. I could bring her down and I would be the best again. I brought her to my house and did exactly what she claimed I did.
The next day she leaked it with no guilt or suffering. She was as fake as I was. Suddenly, the whole school was against me. But, I didn't care. I didn't care unless they changed my face. Because they couldn't deny I was still handsome.
Inside I was still better than them all.
And then there was Kim Jisoo. I never once paid attention to her but, she was beautiful as well. Disgusting. I hate beautiful women. Her face looked like it came straight out of an image. I hated plastic surgery. So desperate to become beautiful, making it hard for natural beauties to thrive.
A wilted flower. That's what I saw her as.
She was nice, but that wasn't a special quality. Anyone could be nice if they wanted to. But, I got to know her more and I liked being with her. But I didn't know if it was because I genuinely liked her or if because I thought I was more beautiful.
That feeling scared me.
I tried to stop comparing myself when I was around her and I knew I developed feelings for her. Then Irene, that bastard, had to cut in. Now Jisoo no longer trusts me and now I feel lost again.
Her words brought me back to my mother's face and how I witnessed her death.
That woman spent hours in front of her vanity. She taught me that beauty was important. Making up her face for hours so she could be beautiful.
But her effort only made it worse.
She was hideous.
So obsessed with her face that she forgot about her family. So when father divorced her she took her own life. It was because she no longer felt beautiful. After years of being a trophy wife she finally found that even her face became useless.
That face that she cared so much about. I knew I had to be better. So I did become better. Because I have no one to talk me down from my high horse.
But, for the first time in my entire life, I no longer feel beautiful. The way Jisoo looked down on me made my fists clench. It made my heart burn. Now I understand what mother must have felt.
Why did I like her? What made her so special?
It was because for the first time, I felt like a real person. I forgot about beauty for a fraction of a second and realized what I was missing out on.
So maybe if I be better to her and satisfy her, I can feel handsome once again? Worthy of love? Like a better human being?
In order to satisfy her I have to stop caring about beauty.
I have to talk to her as if we were on the same level.
