Tough Shit!

chapter 1: Goodbye

"Goodbye, I love you." he whispered to me. "No! Stay with me baby. Don't close them eyes! You can't leave me. Stay with me." I was crying my eyes out. It was almost as if someone had cut on a faucet, I couldn't get myself to stop crying. "Answer me!! Say something!! Please!" The next thing I heard was him flat line. "No!!" it came out as more of a scream.

Three nurses and a doctor came running into his hospital room. "Miss, miss? I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to leave." she had her hand on my shoulder with a look of concern on her face. "Fuck you!" I spat " I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving him." I was still crying, I'm not sure how I was able to speak. "Miss, if you don't leave I'm going to have to call security to escort you out of not only the room , but the hospital as well.". I didn't want to have to leave the hospital so I just got up and planted a light kiss on his cheek and turned to walk out.

I was sitting on a metal chair in the halkway outside his room staring at the wall. I was lost in thoughts about us when I heard somebody clear their throat. I looked up to see the doctor standing beside me, his face looked worried and tired. "Miss, my name is Dr. Houston, I'm so sorry for your loss, we couldn't revive him. We've done all we possibly can. Again I am so sorry. " Here come the tears again, "Thanks for trying at least." I turned and started walking down the corridor when I heard someone yelling after me, "Miss, miss! I forgot to give you something." he made it to me and handed me a piece of folded up paper. "What's this?" I was totally confused. "Your boyfriend or husband told me to give it to you when he didn't make it." The left side of my mouth turned upward to a small smile. I held the paper in my hand "thank you for giving it to me. Wait did you say 'when he didn't make it'? He knew he wouldn't make it?" A look of depression was now on his face. "I'm not sure what he thought, like I told you he said to give it you when he didn't make it. I'm not sure why he felt that way." "Well thanks for giving it to me. Goodbye." I turned and this time instead of walking I started running out the hospital. I made it out the hospital only to be greeted by his 'family'. Fuckin aye, man. Why now of all times?!

"Well well well. Fancy seeing you here. What'd you do just leave my son here to die alone? Typical of you, especially after you put him in here to begin with!" God I hate this stupid bitch. "Look here, I've been here with Jason for almost two weeks were as this is the first fucking time you or any of them have showed up! I haven't left his side once so don't try to lie and say that yall have! You don't care about him and never have! I've seen that myself in the 7 years we were together." I was so pissed and crushed right now I could just kill her right here right now. "You listen to me Violet and you listen good! I do care about my son and I do love him. I'm here simply to see him and see the progress he's been making while he's been here. I don't have time to stand out here and see you cry, scream and yell. So goodbye bitch and stay the fuck away from my son!" "Wow you didn't even ask me how he was doing and I know the Joanna's husband is in here so honestly were you here to see her husband or your son?" "W-w-well we were here to see my son." she was cut short by Joanna, "But mom you said we were coming to see Byron. " I couldn't help but let out a slight chuckle at that. "Ha I knew you were lying to me and how come you can't say Jason's name? If you cared you'd call him by his name and not just 'my son'." At that they all started walking into the hospital. I started walking to my car.

The ride to our house was long and painfully quiet. I miss Jason filling the car with laughter. How the hell am I gonna make it through this? I remember that piece of paper the doctor gave me and thought about why he said 'when he didn't make it'. He started improving for a few days before he got worse again. My eyes were burning from all the crying I had been doing today and the past week and a half. I suddenly looked up to hear a horn being blown and saw a car headed towards me. I quickly swerved back in my lane and gripped the steering wheel tightly. Holy shit did that just happen?? I've got to get the hell home before I end up killing myself or somebody else.

I got the the apartment building and parked my car. The apartment complex we stayed was gated and secure, it was a safe and family place. it was four stories with an elevator instead of stairs. Me and Jason loved the community and the people. Everybody was nice and helped each other out.

I looked at the vehicle I was parked next to and saw it was Jason's Chevy duramax. My car could probably fit under his truck. I remember when he first got the lift put on it, he was so excited. I felt myself fixing to start crying again when I notice no tears were falling. I have literally cried myself out of tears. I need to get in bed, I need to at least try to sleep I haven't slept in two or three days. I got into the elevator and pressed the 4. The elevator was big and had pearly white marble tiles, the walls were a mahogany wood with gold trim and gold handles going horizontal around the back wall and left side wall. I got off on the forth floor and walked to our apartment. We had a black door with silver numbers reading out 1203. I stopped at the front door and stared at it for a few seconds before walking in. I walked I looking at all the pictures of me and Jason and us and his cousin micheal, there was a few picture of us two and my brother and sister. I smiled a weak smile and ran my fingers down Jasons face in one of the pictures; his blue eyes were so bright and shining in this picture, he had just got his hair cut that morning but it wasn't cut real short his black hair still hung down above his eye brows.

We were so happy. Now that's gone, he's gone, WE are gone.

I sat down on the couch and pulled that note out of my back pocket. I need to get out of these jeans and thus jacket. My faded jeans had blood spots all over them, some small, some....big. My green and yellow plaid shirt had a huge blood spot on the front that was the size of my stomach, it had other spots on the sleeves as well. "I can't wear this outfit anymore. I know I'm going to have to get my boots cleaned as well. Am I seriously talking to myself right now? wow okay then." After I took a shower, I slipped on Jason's grey sweat pants and his Duke University t-shirt and made my way back into the living room. I looked in the table drawer to make sure my gun was still in there, I had a blue and slate grey .380 in the living and my 9mm in the bedroom under my pillow. My 9mm was metallic blue, and the butt of it had lightning bolts on it, I loved my guns.

I cut on the TV just to break the silence. Bad idea. The news was on and it showed Michaels house, they were still talking about that incident. The incident that killed my Jason, my love, my everything!! I cut the TV off and just sat there for awhile. I heard a knock on the door, I'm not going to lie I got scared, I grabbed my gun and opened the door a little bit to see who it was. "Micheal!" I shut the door to take the chain off and opened it back as I jumped into Michaels arms. "Whoa talk about a welcome." he let out a stiff chuckle. I locked the door, all 4 locks, and went to sit by Micheal on the couch and put my gun back in its place.

"So how is he?" Micheal had a hint of uncertainty and worry in his voice. A tear ran down my face "He didn't make it Michael... He's gone." tears were running down my face, Micheal pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me tightly "Oh my god, I'm so sorry Vi. This never should have happened!" His voice broke towards the end of his sentence and I knew he was trying not to cry himself. Jason and Micheal were more than just cousins, they were brother regardless of what anybody told them. "Vi I'm not going to let you stay here by yourself, I'm going to stay with you and stay in the guest bedroom." his gray eyes showed his sadness, I could tell everything about him just by his eyes, just like I could do with Jason. "Thank you, I'd like that. "