Tough Shit!

chapter 10: Facing the past and fighting the present

Violets p.o.v

"You know what. I know quite a bit about you but, I haven't heard of or met your parents. Why is that?" I looked up at Hunter and shook my head. He grabbed my chin and tilted my head up to look at him. "Violet please. You know you shouldn't have to hide anything from me. You can trust me, you know that." I let out a sigh "Fine."

"My father left when I was 13. After that my mother turned to alcohol and turned her back on me. I had to take care of myself. I did what I had to do to survive. I met Jason at a bus stop. We just hit it off from there I guess. We hung out everyday for 6 months, he then asked me to move in with him; to let him take care of me. I said yes and went back to get some of my things. My mom was in the living room. She was downing a bottle of vodka. She didnt even look at me, so I just told her that I was leaving after I packed my things and was at the door. She flipped out and started screaming at me. You bitch!!!! Nobody can have you!! You're mine, you are my daughter!! You belong to me and me alone!! I own your stupid ass!! I brought you here and I can take you out any fucking time! She slapped me over and over again, as she was pausing to take another swig of the vodka i screamed back Do it then you piece of shit! Take my ass out! Fucking do it! I'd rather be dead than live in this hell with your drunken ass one more secound. I backed up a few steps towards the door. She looked up and went at me with the empty bottle. I grabbed her arm just before the bottle hit me. I pushed her back, hard. She hit her head on the corner of the glass table and it broke." I felt a tear slide down my face. "I always wanted her gone but I never meant for that to happen. I killed her and I wasn't even charged with it. It was a self defence claim and ruled as a pure accident." I looked up at Hunter, he had a blank look on his face and just shook his head, I stood up. "You see! This is why I wasn't going to say anything to you about it!" I walked out of the house slamming the door and went straight for Jasons truck.

I sat in the truck and let his smell surround me. I didn't think, I just drove. I ended up at my dealers house and knocked on the door. "Yo what's up. Damn Vi are you okay?" I nodded "yep. I'm perfect. I need some pink." He raised an eyebrow, "Um okay. Come on in. Want a hit while I bust it open?" I shrugged my shoulders "sure why not." We walked over to the table and sat down. I did the hit and sat there with fat boy for a few hours talking and just shooting the breeze.

"I told Hunter about my mom." I looked up to see fat boy staring at me. "Oh my god Vi. Are you serious?  How did he react?" I nodded my head and looked down "He just shook his head like he heard me admit to killing somebody. Well I did admit it but, I didn't think he'd react that way." Fat boy placed his hand on top of mine. "Josh, He's not Jason. I can't continuing to pretend that he is, it's driving me crazy."  Fat boy nodded "I know. And what have I told your skinny ass about calling me by my first name." He lightly shoved me and we laughed.

I ended up at a cemetery.  The one my mom was buried in. I was high and didn't even know how I ended up there, I knew I drove; but how I made it alive I have no idea. I stumbled over to her grave, I fell to my knees crying. "Why did you treat me that way! Why did you not care? Huh!?" I giggled at myself "Great I'm talking to a grave." I looked at her head stone Marissa Leanna Lake beloved mother and friend "Beloved my ass." Maybe a beloved to the drunks at that shitty bar that used to be here. I stood to leave.

I sat in Jasons truck staring out at all the headstones. I wiped my face and grabbed my phone and opened the glove box. I snorted the line of coke I had placed on the phone screen. The backlight lit up to show Jasons smiling face and me kissing his cheek smiling.  I stared crying and started the truck. I cranked the radio up and started blasting The Pretty Reckless. I sped my way home.

I didn't see Hunters Camero in the parking lot.  I walked up the stairs and unlocked the door. I threw my keys on the glass table by the door and saw a note.

Dear Violet,
I'm so sorry. I thought I could help you and change your life. I was wrong. You have so much bagage I don't know what to do.

I know you pretend and act like I'm Jason. You've called me Jason a lot  in your sleep and when you get high. I'm sick of dealing with it and dealing with a fucking drug addict!  It's driving me fucking crazy.

This is goodbye.
Hunter

I balled up the note and punched the wall. I took my phone out of my pocket. "Ray. I need you here, now. Please.." I heard a door shut. "I'm on the way now." I hung up. I absent mindedly went for the box in my closet. I saw full pill bottles, bags of weed and cocaine, and a few needles.

"What the fuck are you doing Violet?!" I looked up at Ray "He left me." Ray picked me up off the floor and took me into the living room. "What happened?" I looked down "He asked about mom, I told him." Ray shook his head and looked pissed. "Fuck him! Don't miss him. Make him miss you!" I shrugged my shoulders "It's not him I miss." I jumped up "That mother fucker says I have to much baggage and that he can't deal with me wanting jason and that he can't deal with a fuck drug addict! Fuck him!" I was pissed. I starred hitting my punching bag that was hanging in the corner of the living room. "Violet stop it! You're going to break your hand. You need those to fight." I looked down to see my knuckles red and blue, covered in blood.  I looked at Ray with a sly grin and nodded.