Tough Shit!

Chapter 4: A month later (July 1st, 2009)

I finally got the courage to read the letter Jason wrote while in the hospital. I unfolded it shakily.

Dear Vi,

My dear sweet angel. I know my time is limited here with you. I hate it had to end so soon. I'm going to miss you. I was going to propose to you that day at Micheal's when we were going to go to the lake. Micheal has the ring with him, get it from him. I told Micheal to take care of you. I don't want you to be alone, or sad. I don't want to see you staying in a shell once I'm gone. Please live your life.

I will always love you. Remember that I'm always with you. I may not be with you in person but I am always with you in heart. Well you're starting to wake up and I don't want you to see this yet.

I love you. Never forget that!!

Love Always,

Jason

I was balling my eyes out now. He knew he wasn't going to make it. I looked out the window towards the sky. "I wish you would come back down. I miss you so much baby. I know you're always watching me. I have to be with you again. I can't live without you."  After Jason died, I started doing drugs to forget. Sometimes, I'd even see him or hear him speak to me, I know it's just the drugs, but can you get why I do that? If not, then oh well, I don't really care. I went to my bathroom and found my supply of Pink Panther. One bump of this is enough to get you fucked up. I did three good sized lines and my nose started bleeding. I felt warm and comfortable.  I closed my eyes and heard a voice.  "Jason?" I didn't get an answer. My throat felt like it was bleeding,  I started coughing and coughed up blood.  I was use to my nose starting to bleed and running down my throat.  I layed down and drifted off to sleep.  I woke up crying and screaming Jason's name, this happens often. I looked at the clock and noticed it was 7 in the morning.  I went ahead and got up. I grabbed a pair of my workout shorts and a black tanktop I put on my running shoes.  I went to the spare room and saw Micheal wasn't there. I shugged and headed to the kitchen. I took some percs and ate a bowl of cereal. I grabbed my car keys and headed out to the gym.

I started working out to keep my mind off of shit. I got to the gym and walked in. I grabbed my phone and started listening to krewella. I quickly signed in and headed off to the locker room, I put my bag with my other clothes in the locker.  I stayed at the gym for a while. Once I got to the locker room, I looked at the time on my phone. It was now 1:30. I showered, changed, and left.

I met my sister and brother and an italian restaurant and cafe. "Yes, how many? " A little blonde hostess asked. "I'm supposed to be meeting somebody here. It's under Jennifer Lake." she looked at the list in front of her. "Ah yes. This way, please." I sat down at the table where my sister was. My sister had big green eyes and long wavy brown hair with blonde highlights. She was wearing a white sundress with white high heels. The hostess handed me a memu. I went ahead and ordered a peach sweet tea, and Jennifer ordered the same as me. "So how have you been?" She asked. I shrugged."I've been okay, I guess. It's still hard, but I'm slowly getting there, I guess." She looked at me worriedly. My brother Max then showed up. He shot us a smile and apologized for being late. We smiled at him and waved it off. Me and Jennifer continued our conversation while glancing at the menu. The waitress came to get our orders. max and Jennifer ordered Chicken Parmigiano. I ordered a salad and spaghetti.

The waitresses' eyes widened when she saw who I was. Great now this bitch is gonna say something. "You look familiar.  Wait were you one of the ones involved in that shooting a month back? " I glanced down at the table I took a deep breath and looked back at her.  "Yes I was. Would you like to talk about it and bring up that horrible day that haunts my dreams??" She just shook her head "I'm sorry I didn't-" I cut her off "You didn't what? Expect it to be effecting me this bad? Bother me? Upset me? Well next time, think before you speak and bring something like that up. Got it?" She nodded and walked to the kitchen. Max and Jennifer were looking at me. Max was holding in laughter while Jennifer was shaking her head. "That was mean. Vi, I'm sure she didn't mean anything." Jennifer was staring at me, looking disappointed "Jen it doesn't matter.  You don't just bring stuff like that up." She shrugged.  "I don't blame you Vi. I understand." Max looked at me with understanding.  Max lost his fiancée in a car accident last year on the way to meet a wedding planner. I gave them a weak smile.  I can't keep going on like this. We ate and just made small talk, as we were leaving we ran into the devil and her spawn. Jason's 'family'.