5. mark: it's not fine

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A/n: aaaah this picture of Mark is killing me im busting uwus OOF
Anyways, this is going to be quite a sad story. Here ya go

(Hahaaa u see what I did with the title

I got it from Taeyeon's "Fine" song

hahahaaaa

lol)

~QueenToriel❤

"Y/n, why would you do this to yourself?

Why would you kill yourself?

Oh god, Y/n. Why didn't you just let me talk to you?

And now you're dead, and everyone's wondering why.

Like Kun hyung won't stop asking me where you are, and he's worried you went missing or something.

But I couldn't tell him the truth. It would hurt all of us.

If you had let me explained what happened that day, you would still be here.
I never cheated on you, nor did I hate you. I was forced to say that by YooRa. I never loved her. She was a worthless, self centered idiot.

Oh Y/n, why didn't you understand my pain? Why didn't you understand I so badly wanted to punch YooRa after saying that?
I loved you, Y/n. I really did. And if you thought otherwise, you could've asked me.

Chenle is scared because you haven't been here in awhile. Like, he literally stayed in his room for over two days now.

I'm sorry for sounding so rude, Y/n, but I miss you. Too much. You might even find it weird that I cry myself to sleep sometimes, and I need Taeyong hyung to comfort me.

I miss you. And I won't stop loving you. Happy birthday, Y/n," I said to the gravestone as I wiped my eyes. I placed a white rose in front of the gravestone, and kissed the top of it. I know Y/n is in a better place now, but I can't help to remind myself that she's gone forever, and it will be a while until I get to see her again. I then jumped by a sudden shrieking noise from behind the gate.
"Look! It's Mark Lee oppa!" one of them said, and they all scrambled in front of the gate to take pictures of me.

God, how I just wanted to yell at them. But I couldn't, for I'd get in trouble with manager-nim and be suspended from several performances.
I gave them an annoyed look, and turned back to my s/o's gravestone. However, they kept on murmuring and taking photos with their phones. I looked at them again, angry.
I really wasn't in the mood for pictures. They must be sasaeng fans, I thought. Real fans wouldn't take the advantage to take pictures of an idol in a cemetery. I decided to call Taeil.

"Yo, Taeil, can you do me a favor?" I said once Taeil picked up.

"Sure. What is it?" He asked.

"Can you tell manager something for me?"

"Sure."

"Tell them that there are some fans shrieking and taking pictures of me, and I need protection before things get worse. I don't want to leave Y/n unhappy on her birthday," I explained.

"But (s)he's dead----"

"Yeah yeah, I know. I'm visiting his/her grave." I cut him off. I didn't want to be reminded of his/her death.

"Ah."

"So could you please tell manager to come here please?" I asked Taeil.

"Sure."

"Thanks, Taeil."

"No problem, Mark." and with that I hung up the call.

Several minutes later, my manager came and went to the gate to block the fans from taking pictures of me. All I wanted was some peace and quiet with my s/o, without the disturbance of annoying fans. The fans did leave though, and I couldn't care less about them grumbling about how "I didn't love them" or how "I didn't care about them" when I was in a graveyard. A freaking graveyard. They think I don't care about them? Well there were more people to care about, and right now I was caring about my dead s/o on his/her birthday. As I thought that, my eyes swelled with tears and I dropped to my knees and touched the grave with my palm. "I'm so sorry, Y/n..."
Manager-nim came over and put their hand on my shoulder.
"It's going to be alright, Mark. Here, put this in front of her grave." manager-nim said as (s)he handed me a small picture frame. I wiped my eyes. It was a picture of me and Y/n. I kissed it before placing it in front of the grave, then rearranging it to be leaning closer to the edge of the gravestone, careful not to cover Y/n's name. Then I bowed my head and prayed silently for Y/n, manager-nim joining a few seconds later. After the prayer, I stood up and let manager-nim give me a warm hug.
"It's going to be alright, Mark. It's going to be alright..."
I felt as if I heard Y/n's voice through my manager's own, and I smiled as (s)he put an arm around me and walked with me back towards the dorm.

Y/n, I miss you. And I love you. Everyone does, but I love you the most.
I will see you sometime.
Don't worry. We will meet again.
I love you.

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