Cousin's Best Friend

21{WARNING!: TRIGGERS!

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, &PANIC ATTACKS PLEASE DON'T READ IF ANY OF THIS TRIGGERS YOU! IT DOES NOT GO INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL.

Sebastian and Chris are currently sitting on the couch trying to figure out what was currently going on in Elise's brain. Elise was pacing the area in front of them trying to figure out where to start when Sebastian walked up to her and brought her back to the couch with him. He sat down and she sat down beside him and took a deep breath.

"Growing up I always had anxiety from a young age, but at that point nobody ever really believes it's a true problem since when you're young you're afraid of almost everything. As the years went on my Bunic noticed that there was something off about me. Things weren't making to sense to him and he was he first person to sit me down and talk things out with him. He's a large part of why when we did move to Paris the next week my parents took me to a Dr. That's when they figured out I do have an anxiety disorder," She started and stopped looking at the two to make sure she didn't scare the off yet. When she looked at the they urged her to continue.

"When I was ten I started to withdraw from those around me and I even started to push away Patrick and Antonia and I just met them. This wasn't normal for me, like I'm sure you remember how I was always needing to be around people and very much a people person," she said the last part looking at Chris who just nodded his head. "Tata noticed it and took me to see a psychiatrist and that's when I was diagnosed with depression. A team started to work with me and then I was feeling and doing better. I was back to normal for a couple of years and then when I was sixteen my Bunic got cancer and I took it really hard and I started to harm myself. I want to say my lowest day was when Caly walked in on me as I was stopping the bleeding one day. I paid her not to tell mom and tata and she didn't. The next night I told my parents I was spending the night with Toni, but instead I spent the night in a bar and that's when I got drunk for the first time. This slowly became a nightly thing, where I would sneak out of the house. I was spiraling out of control just at the thought of possibly using my Bunica. So when he finally did loose his battle and I wasn't able to fly out before he passed to say goodbye in person my world collapsed and everything got worse. It's about to get really dark. I can stop now," Elise said wiping away her tears before going back and playing with her hands like she usually does when nervous or feeling awkward.

"I want to know," Chris said to his cousin even though so far his heart was broken beyond repair from what she's already said. He knows that if he stops her now she'll never open up about it again, and he also already knows a majority of the next part of the story. After Chris answered she looked at Sebastian who just grabbed a hold of her hand and interlocked his fingers with hers and nodded his head.

"So Bunica passed away December 21st and I was making plans to pass away December 25th. To me with out my best friend on Earth I didn't need to be here anymore. I already wasn't sure what my purpose was or why I was here since I couldn't function properly. Christmas morning 2010 I woke up really early and I was going to do it, but then my phone rang and it was Chris calling. I had a choice to make; I was either going to end it right then and there, or I was going to talk you say one last goodbye and do it then. Either way I was going to do it, but then we got to talking and I broke down. I told him EVERYTHING that was going on within me and in my head before hanging up and throwing my phone at the wall. I sat there on the ground in my bathroom in tears thinking about all the years. Just as I was about to do it the door slammed open and my dad was there with my mom right behind him holding her phone up to her ear. I wasn't allowed to be alone at all for the rest of that day, that night I even had to sleep in between my parents. I was then put into a program to help me and now here I am," Elise finished explaining and was instantly pulled into a hug by a crying Chris as Sebastian held onto her hand. He knows that he's know here for two months, but he's become really close to her and she's one of his best friend's cousins after all.

"Wh...when did the panic attacks start," Sebastian asked genuinely concerned.

"Well my first anxiety attack happened in Romania the day before we moved and Bunic was there to help me through it. Throughout my year in France I actually had a lot of anxiety attacks. The panic attacks didn't hit me until after I found out about Bunic's death. Now I deal with both, but thankfully I have coping mechanisms and amazing and understanding people in my life," Elise explained. For hours after that the three just sat on the couch and both men asked her questions and she would willing answer them. Once six o'clock came around Elise was hungry and emotionally drained so the two men left and Elise took a shower and got into bed for the night.