Forced to love you Cover Done By @Natasha Palma Negan Fanfiction

Needing Answers.

Jax P.O.V.

I gently pull the covers off my cold body, wishing my mind would let me sleep. Negan's loud snoring affirms to me that he is peacefully asleep, unaware of the fact that I am unable to join him in dreamland.

My mind keeps playing the previous day over and over, like a broken record. I know that soon Spencer will be dead, and all my answers with him.
I need to know why he killed Rick. I need to know what Ricks final moments were like. Did he die instantly? Did he have anything he wished to tell his two kids?

I wrapped a silky black robe around my bare body, then quietly left our room. The only sound echoing around me is the patting of my feet as I head down to the cells. I glance around noticing the guards have left for the night, making my mission easy to obtain. Grabbing the key, I unlock the door, revealing a scrunched up body inside.

Spencer's arms encircle around his shoulders, as he rocks back and forth. Tears trail down his dirty cheeks, as he sobs into the filthy shirt.

My shadow startles him, as he lifts his head to glance up at me. For a moment nothing is said, as we both stare blankly at each other. I finally had enough, so I decided to break the silence.

"I know you probably want to be alone, but I need answers from you before you die. "

The ruined man simply nods, giving me permission to keep talking.

" I want to know if it was you who killed Rick  or Simon," I asked flatly, trying to keep my emotions from getting the best of me.

" I killed him. Rick and his samurai bitch, followed me and overheard mine and Simons plan to kill Negan. Rick was never supposed to die like that.

Simon was going to convince Negan I was a better leader, then I would take over, Alexandria, and Simon would take over the sanctuary. I was going to just exile him, but he had to be killed or our plan would have fallen apart.

I am sorry for killing him. I thought it wouldn't bother me, but every night I see his face. It haunts my dreams, filling my heart with guilt."

Teardrops fall onto the concrete floor, as I stare into the man's eyes who killed Rick.

" How did you kill him? Was it the wreck? "

" No, I actually shot him in the stomach, but all the broken glass covered that up. I staged the accident to make it look like he just lost control. Once I wrecked the car, I broke the windshield then placed his dead body through it. " Spencer paused, as he tried to compose himself.

" I hate that I killed a good man like him. I know my mother would be ashamed of me if she were alive."

" Did Rick say anything before he died? Anything I should tell his kids?"

Spencer's dirt covered hand reached into his pocket, bringing out a bloodstained letter. The small envelope has tattered edges and is badly wrinkled. I gently took the letter, then opened it to find a letter, written in Ricks handwriting.

" Did Rick write this before he died?" I asked weakly, as fresh tears pour down my face.

" No, he said he always had it, that if he ever died, to give it to you. That you would know who to read it to if anything happened to him. I should have given it to you sooner, but I was scared that doing so, would make you question his death."

I held the letter close to my chest, feeling anger that my friend was taken from me.

" Two children now live without a father because of what you did. A woman now lives without the man she loves! You did all of this for what! Power! I am not sorry that you will die for your crimes.

However, I am thankful for this letter, and for your confession; I hope you make your peace with whatever God you believe in because you will be meeting him soon."

" Do you think father Gabriel would come to see me before I die? I would like to confess to him. So, that I will have peace when I die."

" I will send for him. I wouldn't want to deny you your last confession. I may be angry with you, but I won't keep you from having peace."

" Thank you, Jax."

" Don't thank me, I am doing it for Rick. He would want me to do this for you. That's just the kind of man he was."

I slammed the door to his cell shut, then made my way to a small chair inside Negan's office. Placing myself in the chair, I then opened the special letter.

Dear Jax, I need you to give this to my kids, Carl and Judith. If you're reading this, then that means I have died, and can't deliver this to myself. I know I can count on my best friend to make sure my kids know I love them.

I never wanted to leave them, but obviously, my wish didn't come true. Please tell my daughter about me, and that I never wanted her to grow up without her parents.

I also need you to be there for Michone, she will act strong, but inside she will be hurting. Let her know I love her, and hate that we have to be apart. I will be waiting for her when her time comes, eager to have her by my side.

I also wanted to tell you, Jax, that I am so thankful for you being my friend. After Lori died, you were my only link to my dead wife, and I have always been thankful for you.

I will tell Kaley, hi for you, and let her know that her mama loves her. I know her loss has made yours and Daryl's relationship strained, It never really recovered after that. I hope you find happiness in whoever you choose to love. Just promise me one thing, if you stay with Negan, make him a better man. Who am I kidding? I know you will, you bring out the best in people.

Goodbye Jax, I love you.

Rick Grimes.