*Harry's POV
"Dude." Louis groaned from his seat on the couch. "Answer your fucking phone."
It's been ringing for the past five minutes and like everyday it does. I ignore it.
Gosh you think she'd take a hint.
"Shut up." I said. I rejected the call once again but this time I turned off my phone.
I raised a brow at Louis when he frowned at me but I ignored him and returned to the game.
"You're being an arse." He mumbled, keeping his eyes on the television.
"I didn't come here to be chastised Louis." I pressed down on the left arrow on the controller-dodging a punch that he threw at me.
"She's apologized a million times for something she shouldn't even be sorry for." He stated.
That's not the first time someone had said that to me.
What she did was wrong and though every one else seems to think I'm being stupid, I refuse to forgive her. Its been three months and I won't lie-I miss her...but that doesn't change anything.
"It was wrong."
"It was her choice to make."
"Ok why the fuck are we still taking about this?" I paused the game and threw down my controller.
He's getting on my nerves and if he doesn't shut up I might just punch him in the face.
"We're still talking about this because you're punishing her for doing what she thought was right." He threw his controller on the coffee table.
"She killed someone Louis. She didn't even talk to me about it, she just went ahead and got a fucking abortion!"
"It wasn't your baby!" He snapped
"That didn't give her the right to-"
"Y/N was raped Harry. By her own fucking father! She didn't want the baby and you should've been by her side-she didn't tell you because she was afraid this would happen!"
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"You knew didn't you? She told you but she didn't tell me?" I chuckled humorlessly.
"I'm your best friend and I'm not going to let you ruin the future you two could have," he sighed, lowering his voice. "You know what its like to be hurt like that-i'm sorry for bringing it up but you do. You had to put up with it for nine years Harry...Y/N isn't as strong as you think she is and after going through something like that you should be been there for her like she was for you."
I took a deep breath as all the memories started rushing back. Everything my father did to me...
She found me that night at the pier when I was ready to jump and though she didn't have to, she stayed.
"It would've killed her to give birth to that baby Harry. I just wish you'd understand that." He mumbled getting up and leaving the basement.
I felt as if the walls were closing in on me and I found it hard to breath. Abortions are awful-no doubt about it...but I knew what it was like to be hurt by someone you trusted with your life...
After three months i'm just realizing this. It took me three months to understand and now that I do...I feel like shit.
Grabbing my phone and my wallet I left Louis' house, desperate to get away.
I drive straight home and when I got to my bedroom I dropped to my knees.
Instead of trying to understand the situation I chose to kick her out of my life.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I fell asleep on the floor that night and when I woke up the next day...I wished I would've just died in my sleep.
Louis showed up at my doorstep with bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks. Upon asking him what happened he told me that Y/N died.
She was found in an alley not to far from my apartment with a bullet in her chest. All her valuables were gone and she was alone.
Later on in the day I found seventeen missed calls on my phone and a voicemail.
In her last moments she called me. She could've called Louis or an ambulance but she called me.
While she was dying I was asleep.
Three months later I went to her grave with a gun and a single red rose. I spent hours crying and apologizing and when I was done I raised the gun to my head.
I've been through a lot, but I couldn't live without her-it made no sense.
~**~
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