The Heartless Persona

19

The next day, Keri had avoided Cam as much as possible. She couldn't face him. Especially since he knew what she was feeling most of the time. He could read her as easily as he could read a children's book.

He would have figured out what was wrong once he saw her. It was practically written across her forehead.

So instead, she stayed in her room all day, finishing the book she had bought earlier on the trip. And whenever someone had knocked on her door, she had pretended to be asleep.

Keri was in the kitchen, finally able able to sneak downstairs, and waited for her coffee. She had already crammed in a meal, so she wouldn't have to come down for a little while. Her head had turned when she heard someone come in.

Big surprise. It was Cam.

"Hey," he said, biting on his bottom lip. His eyes had flickered around her face as if he had just met her for the first time and was taking in her appearance. "I haven't seen you all day. What's up?"

"Nothing much. I just feel...weird today." Her eyes focused on the coffee machine, trying their best to avoid his caring blue eyes. The ones that made her stomach swoon and her heart do a fast paced flutter.

"Oh. Well, go upstairs and rest. I'll bring your coffee up."

"Really?" Her heart had melted. Boys didn't usually do sweet things like that for her. They were usually just trying to get inside of her pants.

"Yeah," he nodded nonchalantly.

"Oh...well, thanks," she couldn't stop the grin on her face.

She listened to him and went upstairs. Shortly after, Cam delivered her coffee. Keri invited him to stay and watch television and the two laid in bed together.

It was definitely nicer than hooking up with some loser boy. Especially the boys she was used to dealing with.

Once he came upstairs with her coffee, they turned on the televison and got comfortable on her bed.

Keri's head rested on Cam's lap as she stared at the television. They were watching some romantic comedy with Adam Sandler. Her coffee was cooling off on her nightstand.

Being in that position brought back memories of how the two would snuggle up at night and watch scary movies. Cam's embrace always made the movie less terrifying.

"I miss this," she murmured.

Right after she said it, she had regretted it. She clenched her teeth together, hoping that Cam didn't hear her.

He silently ran one of his hands through her hair, debating on how to respond.

Keri had figured out that he partially kept his guard up around her. He wasn't fully open when they were together. And she was to blame.

She broke his heart. There was no other way to describe it. She chose popularity over her best friend, at the time. She didn't even give him an explanation. One day, she just decided to stop talking to him, stop hanging out with him, and to walk around the hallways with her new best friend--Rebecca.

And a part of Keri now hated herself for that. That part of her was more prominent than ever during her time in Puerto Rico.

Her life would be so much different if she hadn't made that stupid choice. Cam was so great to her and she just completely destroyed it. He probably would've given her the world if she asked for it. And she would do whatever it took to make him happy.

That was what best friends did.

So why wasn't it like that with Rebecca?

Keri turned her head so that she was able to look at him. He watched her carefully, not speaking. His bottom lip was partially pulled in his mouth.

Her pulse started to race as she waited for a response. As she watched him, she could tell that he was trying to come up with a way to formulate his words.

Should she have taken it back? Pretend that she didn't mean to say it? One of her biggest fears was rejection.

And right now, it felt like she was being rejected.

"I'm sure after this trip is over, you won't feel that way," Cam replied softly.

Keri wanted to protest, but the truth was that she was confused. She didn't know what she wanted.

Would she speak to Cam after the trip? Would they be friends? Or would she ditch him for Rebecca again?

She loved spending time with Cam, which she couldn't even deny. But she also loved the attention she got from everyone back at home.

She was so well adjusted to the negative attention from boys and other peers, she wasn't sure how to handle the good attention she received from Cam.

Her mouth parted a little while she kept her gaze on him. He continued to run his hand through her hair.

Why did things have to be so complicated?

Maybe she should just live in the moment. Maybe she should forget about what would be the aftermath. Maybe she should take a chance with Cam.

And that's exactly what she was going to do.

Perhaps it wasn't going to be right away. But it was definitely going to be before that trip was over.