Beyond Distance

Beyond 7

Chapter 7

Pagkarating namin sa resort ay hinayaan niya muna akong magpahinga. We're completely exhausted. Straight from Siquijor up to here, I didn't get a decent sleep. Pero mamaya ay ilalaan ko ang oras ko para magtampisaw sa dagat.

Dapit-hapon na ng lumabas ako ng sariling kwarto. Suot ko na ang stringed two-pieced bathing suit sa loob ng robang yari sa seda. Shouldn't get much attention, but those eyes of men in the lobby are on me.

Pagkalagpas ko ng pool side ay unang bumungad sakin ang nag-aagawang kulay kahel at lila sa kalangitan. Medyo malamig na ang buhangin sa dalampasigan at wala na rin gaanong tao. I like it better. I have my time to think alone. Mas nakakapag-isip ako kapag mag-isa at marami akong kailangang pag-isipan.

The open sea is very welcoming. Spumes are visible that made the backwash of water from the shore more dramatic. The way the sun shone off the rippling water, its golden light warped in the twisted, glass waves. No description can truly capture its mysterious majesty, yet only a few words can express its beauty.

Hindi pa naman huli ang araw na ito para maligo sa dagat. Kung tutuusin ay nilaan ko naman talaga ang oras na ito para lumangoy. So I wasted no time and walked a little bit faster until the ripples of sea water touched my feet. Kalmado ang dagat kaya mas naiganya akong lumusong dito.

Maingat kong kinalas ang tali ng roba at nilapag ito sa malayong parte ng buhangin kung saan hindi ito maabot ng tubig.

Pinagpatuloy ko ang paglusong hanggang sa nasa dibdib ko na ang tubig. Cool breeze that came along from the vast body of water surrounds me. Every single waves crashes softly to my skin, both felt harsh and calming. In some magnetic way, my body gave up and move with the figure of waves. Air ceaseless water and wind made me surrender. It's the quite power out there in this abyss dominates me. And now, the sensation towards complexity of sea made me weak.

These past few days i'm anxious, nothing serious. Kahit kelan hindi ko naman itinuring na seryoso ang kung ano mang nararamdaman ko para sa isang tao. Lalong-lalo na sa isang katulad ni Sid. He's out of my league. Malayo sa kalidad niya ang mga nobyo ko. And I must say, i've tried almost all of the men in Manila. They are all worse. Hilig ng mga lalaki sa Maynila na ipagmalaki ang mga sasakyan nila, ang mga lupain, at ang mga pag mamay-ari ng pamilya nila, but the humor there is wala naman silang maipagmamalaki kung hindi dahil mga magulang nila. They still rely in their parents. Mga walang masasabi kung hindi dahil sa impluwensya ng mga magulang.

The reason why i'm worried is that what i'm feeling right now is different. Playboys and boys that are bragging about their riches is my comfort zone. Stepping out of my safe zone is never an option for me. I'm very used of my lifestyle, which is never taking boys seriously.

Naglangoy pa 'ko ng ilang sandali bago nagpasyang umahon sa buhanginan. Even though I feel the coldness of wind, inilatag ko parin ang roba na suot ko kanina at nahiga roon. I stay still for the mean time with my eyes closed. Trying to escape from the bothering thoughts and waking this unfamiliar shit out of me.

"Gising ka na pala." I heard the engine of the jetski off.

Mabilis 'kong nilingon ang nagsalita pero hindi agad ako nag-abalang umalis sa posisyon ko.

"Naglangoy lang ako sandali..." tumango siya at parang may sasabihin pa pero hindi na niya nagawa.

His forehead furrowed and those thick lined eyebrows drew together. A flush crept on my face as I watch his glistened eyes roaming around my body.