Beyond Distance

Beyond 8

Chapter 8

"Thank you," I can't even smile to the waiter now that my demons inside are being hysteria.

Mariin kong hinilot ang sentido ko habang sumisimsim sa inorder kong orange juice. Even with a lots of ice in it, it can't never calm my nerve right now.

My mind can't handle what just happened yesterday. I tried to kiss him! I'm fucking insane, I know! Not gonna swear, but I will never drink alcohol whenever i'm with him.

Sa sobrang pag-iisip ko pagkagising ko ay hindi na 'ko nakapili ng bathing suit para sa araw na ito. At the moment, i'm here in the upper lounger, wearing a dark blue, one-piece long sleeves. My hair is tightly tied. Sinadya ko iyon para makapag-isip ako ng tama!

I already consumed a lot of time thinking why I did that, hindi ko masasabing tulak lamang iyon ng alak, dahil tanda ko na parang gusto ko talaga siyang halikan n'on-with the little senses inside me that time!

Pero hindi na mahalaga kung ano ang ginawa ko. What I need to think about is how to act infront of him today. Should I say sorry? No! Damn, that's too embarassing. Well, on the other side, I shouldn't explain myself either. Ano namang sasabihin ko? Na may parte rin talaga sakin na gustong halikan siya at hindi lang dahil lasing ako?

Napangiwi ako sa sarili ng maisip na mas mabuti sigurong umakto nalang akong walang matandaan. He'll believe me, i'm sure. Dahil muntik na 'kong pumasok sa kwarto niya kahapon nung umakyat na kami. He'll be convinced i'm super drunk and couldn't even remember anything. Sana nga ay wala nalang akong natatandaan para hindi ko na iniisip ang mga kahihiyan ko!

"Good morning." bati niya na ikinagulat ko.

"G-Good m-morning," I badly want to make it casual, but I failed.

"Hindi ba masakit ang ulo mo?" pinanood ko siya habang inilalapag ang tuwalya niya sa katabi kong lounger.

"Hmmm. Hindi pa gaanong maayos ang pakiramdam ko."

At alam kong hindi hangover ito. Dahil 'to sa kahihiyan!

Binalingan niya 'ko. His eyes drifted down on me. Nakatayo kase siya sa gilid ko.

"Dapat ay nagpahinga ka muna sa kwarto mo. Get a sleep."

"I'm okay. W-well? Did I make it hard for you yesterday?" pagkukunwari kong walang maalala. I need to push this stupid acting, as if I have a choice.

Pinilig niya ang ulo niya at tila nagpipigil ng ngiti.

Jerk! I'm aware I tried to kiss you and you refused!

"Hindi naman. You completely got yourself. Except you almost kiss-" doon na 'ko napalingon sa kanya.

"-most of the men in the bar." I let out a sigh of relief.

I would gladly thank him secretly if would not mention our almost kissed.

"B-Bakit hindi mo 'ko pinigilan?"

"Cause I like you to stop yourself. You know i'm watching, but you still act as if I'm not there." mariin akong napalulon sa narinig. Disappointment is evident in his tone. While confusion takes all over me.