The Broken Ones

Chapter 14

Natalia's P.O.V

Besides dreaming, listening to music was one of my escapes from reality, and my parents, and my perfect brother. There's one rule in my family that cannot be broken, "failure isn't an option" disgusting really, we're all human, we make mistakes. Unfortunately my family can not grasp that.

I pressed shuffle on one of my very many Spotify playlists, and hit play. A song that I never heard before came on, I wanted to press skip, but something about it made me listen. It was called "Little girl" by Faith Marie.

"My friends always tell me I get carried away
Sometimes I spit when I talk cuz I have so much to say
They don't seem to hear me but I guess it's ok
It's not their fault my minds working overtime with no pay
They always say the same things and it's starting to get old
That my head can't get sick
It can't catch a cold
I scratch and I pick
My insecurities poke
My fears, my anxiety, a voice that provokes
Take a walk, clear your head, breathe in count to ten
Cuz on the first page of life written in red
You'll never make it here if you don't learn how to bend

Don't speak unless you're spoken to, little girl
Someday you will find your place in the world
But ladies don't get dirty
Someday you'll learn to fill the empty space
With empty faith

Everyday feels like a battle and I always get hurt
I was frequently told violence was never the answer
But life doesn't abide by the rules of a child
I don't know how to fight only taught how to surrender
There's a certain kind of darkness that does a reaping
It usually takes you right before you are sleeping
Is it the crack in the door that it finds a way to creep in?
Or the crack in your brain that wants you to drop dead
I don't remember what it's like to see with clear vision
I awake every morning like the dead has arisen
I don't have to think this body of mine is a prison
You don't control me I just gotta find the light switch
But the more that I look the further I get
You're the only thing about me that needs to be fixed
Cuz on the first page of life written in fine print
Stop looking for light, live it instead

Don't speak unless you're spoken to, little girl
Someday you will find your place in the world
But ladies don't get dirty
Someday you'll learn to fill the empty space
With empty faith

My mind is a mess but I love it none the less
They tell me to hush but my words are all that's left
So on the last page of life written in gold
Don't waste it always doing what you're told"

I didn't realize tears where falling from my eyes until the end. It's like someone took my entire life, and wrote it into a song, I couldn't stop thinking.
"I don't remember what it's like to see with clear vision, I wake every morning like the dead has arisen"
No wonder wishes where made, constant reminders of why you aren't perfect, why you couldn't be good enough.
Society, it's judging everyone and everything- that no matter how hard you try in life-

There's always going to be someone better than you.

Always.