Fan? | KNJ×Reader ✓ [COMPLETED]

The Calm Before The Storm

I am ARMY and EXO-L too. Honestly they work so hard and put their everything in their work. Not only BTS or EXO, but all artists do so much work to make you happy and I don't think they would like you quarreling like this. All groups are great in their own way, you shouldn't compare them, competition is good but it should be healthy, a way in which any band and their fandom won't be hurt."

NAMJOON'S POV:

Hearing all these words, and most importantly the first words she said, made me think if I even knew her. I walked away from the room, because I was going to erupt like some volcano and I honestly didn't want to erupt on her. But what she did was terrible. I heard her from the back screaming my name and walking behind me, the others following her closely. I turned around to finally face her, "I have had enough alright? Lying was the last thing I expected from you, Y/N." Her eyes were filled with mist, I couldn't even look at her directly, it was painful to see her like this, but at the same time I couldn't bear what she had done. What was the need to lie anyway? Soon, I realized that she had stopped following and the only ones following me now were my beloved members. We reached the makeup room, Jimin closed the door behind us. Jin screamed, "How could she do that to you? Why did she lie?" His beck, red because of because of his voice. There was utter silence for a while.
I realized none of the others were as much shook as me and Jin. I broke the silence, "So you guys already knew and you didn't tell me? Since when do we keep secrets from each other?"
Jungkook, looked at me with his puppy eyes saying, "Hyung, she told us to not tell you and that she will clarify everything once she tells you everything herself."
What? I couldn't believe everyone one of them except Jin knew this and they did not tell me. But I spent so many years with them and I trusted them and that was not going to change just because of some girl. She isn't some girl though, I loved her. Maybe I still will to do so. But right now I couldn't think anything about her except that she lied to me.
"She explained part of the stuff to me, I was the first one to know. I had predicted she was ARMY and I asked her directly, and she told me the truth. You should ask her the reason, she will explain everything better than me." Yoongi-hyung spoke up as expressionless as he's always.
"Cheer up! Find her, and ask her everything that's going on your mind, it will help you calm down." Taehyung suggested, seating on his chair. They were right, I needed to talk to her. But I didn't have the courage to talk to her given the situation. I didn't know how she was feeling, maybe, she was also angry because I wasn't ready to listen to her. Maybe, she was also hurt. What if I talked to her now, and she just walks away from me and just disappear the way Eunha did.
Eunha. I remembered her again today. She reminded me of summer. The bright yellow sun rays falling on to the grass, in the backyard of that far away farmhouse I took her to, her yellow dress, her brown straight hair, her face as much glowing as the trees and flowers which enjoyed the soft sunlight on them. She was the first girl I had felt so connected to, since the first moment I saw her in the fansign event, I had asked her to wait in the van till I was done with the event. That was the first day I saw her, her blue dress, I remember her shaking hands, and how she said I love you to Taehyung, I knew that I wasn't her bias but also felt that there's no harm in trying to be at least friends with her.
I had already fallen for her. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, her smile, her eyes I still remembered everything. However she loved Tae and when Tae completely denied her proposal and thought that it was better if they were friends, I gave her a shoulder to cry on and only then I revealed my feelings for her, she gladly accepted dating me. Now I wish I didn't do that. Everything was good for a while and then, one night while I was working,
'I wannaaa break up with you N-Namjoon. Oops-' Clearly, her voice from the other end of the phone, sounded drunk and there was a sound of something really fragile breaking. Or was it my heart? I still remember that moment. It felt like my whole world is collapsing around me, and I couldn't do anything to save it. It was so bright and colourful, like a gem, so gorgeous it looks like it will never rust. But it did. It rusted so bad that no one could use it anymore. I heard a male voice behind her while we were on the phone, "I am daaaaating Baekhyun now, anyway you are sooooooo ugly, I wanted to date Taehyung so bad, and not yooooou. Wouldn't have done it if you weren't a staa..ar."
It hit me. It hit me really hard. I already had known my flaws, but after this I actually started hating myself, because I started comparing myself with everyone, I can never look as good as Tae, I can never rap as good as Yoongi-hyung, I can never dance like Hobi, I can never sing like Jin.
I looked around myself again, recovering from what I was thinking, and there they were, sitting in front of me, talking among each other, my family, my brothers, my members. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have been alive today. I wouldn't have been able to bring up the whole concept of Love Yourself, if they were not there. They made me feel better always.
I never thought Eunha would leave me like the way she did. It was the reason why I was trying to take things slow with Y/N. I didn't want to ruin it. The amount of knowledge the girl has is enormous, and I want to learn from her a lot of things.
Eunha was like summer, yes. But Y/N, she is different, she is 봄 기간 (spring), a new beginning to everything, she has the power to make the cherry blossom trees on the streets of Seoul look beautiful. She is that beautiful and powerful, while Eunha was the most beautiful thing I had seen, Y/N was the most beautiful soul and mind. I didn't want to lose her in anyway. I am going to talk to her tomorrow, when everything has cooled down a bit.

YOUR POV:

You reached home, sobbing over whatever had happened. You wished you didn't lie to him. You wished you had told him before. You wished it didn't happen the way it did. You opened the door to your apartment, and saw a sight you thought you will never see.

Author's note:
This chapter is so hella long!!! Annyeonghaseyo ARMYs I am sorry because I literally post after decades and I know it's not good for your health I AM SORRY By the way this is the very first thing I am writing and I am glad if you are reading this! Also thanks to all my online ARMY friends who keep saying my shit is good and always encourage me to write! Thanks Manon, Asiya, Jet, Yasmin, Rim! You guys are amazing!