Here I Am Again || a Patty Walters Fic

•8

I turned around in shock.

"So you're this boyfriend of hers!" Marcus laughed.

"Yeah, and you better listen to her," he said in the same growl, walking up to Marcus.

"I'm not scared of you," he said, taking a step towards Patty.

Patty didn't hesitate before punching him square in the face. "Now, get out before I drag you out."

"Whatever," Marcus groaned. "Brandy, you'll want me back if you keep hurting your little boyfriend's feelings."

"Get out!" I yelled, still crying.

Marcus rolled his eyes and walked away.

I ran into the lounge, laying down and continuing to cry.

I heard footsteps after me, but didn't look up.

"Brandy, I'm sorry," I heard Patty say softly.

"You don't have to be," I cried. "I'm glad you did that."

"Okay, good," he laughed. "You wanna talk?"

I sat up and wiped the tears from my face. "I'm sorry," I sniffled.

"Thanks," he laughed. "I accept your apology."

"Really? Thanks babe," I smiled, pulling him into a hug.

"Of course," he wrapped his arms around me. "It sucked not being with you. I saw your text and I knew I couldn't turn you down."

"Ugh, I'm so lucky to have you," I smiled.

He leaned down and we locked lips in a passionate kiss.

"Good to see you guys made up," Ali laughed, closing the door to the lounge.

We cuddled for a little but longer before he carried me to my bunk, crawling in with me.

•

"Hey babe," Patty whispered, kissing me softly. "You wanna go to breakfast before we get ready?"

"Sure," I smiled.

We both got up and dressed before leaving the venue and finding a restaurant to have breakfast.

"Brandy, we have a bit of a problem," Patty sighed.

"What is it?" I asked nervously.

"We're playing a new song today," he hesitated.

"I'm sure I can learn it, what do you think?"

"Well," he started. "I could always play it while I sing."

"Or Ben could teach it to me and we pray I don't mess up," I laughed.

"You're ambitious. I love that," he giggled. "I'm sure you can do it babe."

•

We finished up breakfast and went to the bus.

"Ben," Patty called out,m as we entered the bus. "She wants to learn the song."

"Wow," he laughed. "Well, let's go in the lounge and I can show you how to play it."

We grabbed our guitars from the trailer and brought them to the lounge. Ben taught me the song, "The Fire, The Dark", for about an hour before we wrapped up.

•

"Are you sure you can do this, Brandy?" he asked.

"Yes!" I laughed. "I've spent so many hours learning and playing your songs, what's one more?"

"Good point," he smiled.

We both got up and left the lounge, going to soundcheck with everyone else.

•

"Hey guys, we're As It Is, thanks for coming to see us today! We're gonna change the set a little and play y'all a new song today, here's 'The Fire, The Dark'!"

I started to panic, as I didn't know we were opening with the new song.

As Ben started the first riff, I tried to follow, but failed to catch up.

I eventually caught up, and everyone laughed it off. However, once we reached the chorus, I fell behind again. 

I couldn't keep up this time and my body froze, earning the whole crowds attention. I took my guitar off and handed it to Patty, who put it on and started playing. I ran off of the stage and sat down in the tent, trying not to panic. I buried my head in my hands and tried to ground myself. I quickly realized that no matter how hard I tried to stop it, I was having a panic attack.

Instead of staying in the tent, I got up and ran to the bus before it got any worse. The attack continued as my negative thoughts got worse and worse. I laid down on the couch and started crying as my thoughts continued to prey on me like vultures.

As the attack stopped, I wondered why I even agreed to play the song. I knew it was stupid, but what was even more stupid is that I ever thought I could go without my meds.

I stayed on the couch and collected myself until the rest of the band got back.

"Brandy, you wanna talk?" Patty asked softly.

I nodded and got up, following him into the back lounge.

"I'm really sorry," I said as I started to cry again.

"Babe, you don't have to be sorry!" He laughed. "You were really brave to even try, that's what I love about you."

I smiled and wiped the tears from my face. "Thanks babe. I just got really anxious and broke down. Thanks for filling in for me."

"Of course, will you be good to play tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'm sure I will. I just couldn't finish the set today after I had a panic attack in the bus," I laughed.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he frowned. "I've had my fair share of that, I understand."

"I just shouldn't have stopped taking my meds, it's my fault," I said, shaking my head.

"It's not your fault, if you thought you could go without them then props to you," he smiled.

"Yeah, I'll be honest with you, I haven't taken them since I joined y'all on this. It's been fine until now," I laughed. "But after this episode I think I'll continue to stay off of them."

"Wow, I'm proud, Brandy. You're really strong."

"Thanks, who needs happy pills when I have you," I laughed.

We cuddled for a few minutes, staying silent as I began to doze off in his arms.

"Brandy," Patty whispered.

"Yeah?" I responded.

"I know it's really soon, but, I love you."

"I love you too."