𝘍𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘥 ⇾𝘑𝘦𝘰𝘯 𝘑𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘬𝘰𝘰𝘬 (𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘥 )

Chapter 8

Toya Wright

"Mrs. Wright, I have come to believe you have PTSD and you are down to 50 percent of your vision gone, so now it is mandatory for you to use your cane," Mr. Kim states after writing some note in my file.

"PT what?" I ask with a confused look present on my face. Mr. Kim lets out a low but short chuckle, "PTSD also known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's caused by a traumatic event that happen that the victim can not get over. They can cause nightmare, depression, anxiety, and in your case flashbacks. These events can be caused by sounds and scenes." I scowl at him as he continues, "I will give you a prescription for two pills on if for anxiety the ot-"

I cut him off, "With all your respect, I don't need you to give me another reason for my 'peers' to judge me." I see his expression lower.

"Mrs. Wright, it will be best for you to just comply and just take the pills, it will create a better life for you mentally," He tries to negotiate with me but I quickly decline. "No, it really won't. Me hearing various comments about my condition is not doing me any better mentally and please don't try that 'I can get the school to try it's best to keep it top secret' crap wit me,  because you said that last time and look where we are now."

He frowns, "If that is how you feel I'll be sure to tell your mother about our- conversation, you are dismissed."

I stand up and to leave the room, a hint of guilt wavers through my body. What I said back there was a little uncalled for but it wasn't meant to make Mr. Kim upset. He is like the father figure I never had so it kind of hurt to see him frown at me like that. I shake of the emotion and keep walking out the door and saw Kendra waiting for me.

"So what happened?" Kendra asks while scanning my face.

"Nothing, he said it's a normal thing and that I'll be okay," I smile at her.

I know I shouldn't lie but I rather not be pitied more. She nods seeming to believe me. I turn around and walk outside, letting my skin be kissed by a gush of wind.

As I stare out of the window down, I see families and couples, just people in general with smiles painted across their faces. 'I wish that I could be that happy,' I think to myself with a sorrowful smile.

I continue looking out the window watching the rain fall till I see a beige house.

"Okay, thanks for the ride and taking me to Mr. Kim," I say and hug Kendra.

"Of course, I'll do anything to help you get better," she squeezes me then pulls away. "Remember you can tell me anything because I'm your best friend and I will be by your side, okay?"

I nod while smiling at her then got out of the car. Walking on the pouch, I stand at the door preparing for the argument that's about to erupt.

I hear Kendra drive off so I walk into my house with no sign of my mother. I let out a relieved sigh then started on my way to my room when a voice comes from the kitchen.

"Toya, is that you?" my mom calls out through the house.

"No," I say then tried to run into my room but she calls me back to the kitchen.

"Why did Mr. Kim call me and say that you have Ptsd?" She asks with the phone still in her hand. I adjust my bag straps and say, "Because I do."

"Don't get smart with me Toya. Why didn't you call me when the accident happen? Do you even know how scary it is to not know where your child is when she should have been home 3 hours ago?" She crosses her arms while frowning at me. I don't say anything because that seems like the best option right now. "Nothing to say and what is this about you refusing the medication is giving you?"

"I don't want to take anymore pills, they don't help," I say, wrapping my arms around me.

"This is not about what you want, it's about what you need and they do help," My mom states in a matter of fact tone.

Her comment ticked me off for some reason. She doesn't have to get pills shoved down her throat everyday. She doesn't have to go through bullying on a daily basis. She doesn't have to be forced to therapy. She doesn't know what helps me. She doesn't go through what I do.

"No, they don't and if you really knew what was helping me you wouldn't force me to do all this stuff like I'm so different from everyone else," I say with venom leaking through my voice.

"You are different. I wish I could lie and say you aren't but you are and that's something you will just have to deal with for the rest of your life," She says in a comforting voice which makes me even more agitated.

"How can you say that like it's nothing! People look at me like I'm a freak! What do you think will happen when the flashbacks happens in class?" I cry out. I pace around in circles trying to get my mind together but the constant sound of my cane hitting the hard wood floor just makes my mind clutter.

I can't even do a simple task.

"That's why you need to take the medicine!" She yells at me.

I feel all the rage fly out my mouth, "Why so I can be numb for the rest of my life? The pills don't help they mask the problem so that you won't have to deal with it. You know what, I wish I died in the car. I rather be dead with Jaebum and Sebil then to be here with you, Kendra, or anyone else for that matter! You all act like you understand but you don't, won't, and most importantly you can't understand."

I see tears at the bridge of her eyes but I don't stop I need to get this out. "I wish I could say I hate you all especially Jaebum, Sebil and my dad who ever that is for leaving me, but I can't-"

A hand comes across my face leaving a burning sensation on my cheek. I look at her while hold my cheek then at the floor seeing my sunglasses cracked on the floor.

A few tears falls out my eyes . I don't know if it was because she hit me or because of the harsh glares of light burning my eyes, maybe both.

"I can't because I hate myself the most."

After that I leave out the house leaving the door wide open. I don't bother to try to find more sunglasses in my room or my cane.

"Toya comeback here," I hear my mom yell but I start running. I trip and fall multiple times but I ignore the pain and shocked looks around me.

Once I made it to the end of the side walk I fall on the ground and bursted in to tears, letting the rain soak my head. I pull out my phone and call one person I feel can comfort me.

"Jungkook, please come pick me up."

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Two updates in one day /claps/. Any who, I hope you liked this chapter and ignore any mistakes. Thanks for reading

~Dee