The Broken Hearts Club [Joshler]

Ed Sheeran Wouldn't Treat Me Like This

After splashing his face with ice cold water several times, Tyler finally decided to crawl out of the bathroom to face Josh. He had an uneasy feeling weighing down his gut, the boy knew that whatever Josh wanted to talk about was somehow connected with the video. Tyler's dry throat let out a quiet whistle when the boy exhaled deeply. He had fucked up. He always did this. Tyler strived to be a better person but his bratty attitude and irresponsibility always caught up to him. 

Tyler knew that he was a child. An ambitious, stubborn, immature child that didn't deserve to be treated with such sympathy. The brunet never knew what it meant to be responsible for his own actions since everyone around him still treated him as a kid. Well,  most of the people. Now, Tyler knew what being adult felt like. He couldn't understand why he sent the video to Steve when every fibre in his body screamed no. The boy regretted his actions dearly. The regret would come to him in quiet moments, such as when he was going to sleep or waiting for his kettle to boil. It would seep to the foreground of his mind and demand to be reexamined again. But Tyler was tired of thinking about it, no amount of analysis was going to turn back the clock. He had to get on with it here and now, make better choices next time around. If there was a next time. 

He had to go talk to Josh. 

Knowing the man's forgiving nature Tyler didn't expect something explosive. He had never seen Josh truly mad. There was the first time for everything. 

The distance to Josh's small office was agonizingly short. Tyler procrastinated as much as he could. He stopped to place a chair in its place, collect paper plates off the floor... Stalling wouldn't change anything, it would only make everything worse. Tyler knew that. 

"Man up, man up..." Tyler chanted to himself under his breath knowing damn well that he could never be a man. Only a child trapped in an adult's body. A spoiled little boy without the taste of real life on his tongue... 

Tyler inhaled deeply before grabbing the doorknob. The office door creaked quietly, a pleasant smell greeted Tyler's nostrils. It was the scent of freshly brewed coffee and Josh's usual cologne mixed together. You'd think that cologne and coffee don't go well but it actually was the homiest smell Tyler ever breathed in. 

The boy quietly closed the door behind him knowing how much the man valued privacy. Tyler stared down at the floor, trying to control the tremor in his body. He looked up at the man who was resting his hip against his table, one hand gripping the edge while the other one held his cellphone. Josh had a grim look on his face, it was the face of a man who had been betrayed. Tyler drew in a ragged breath, his body unnaturally stiff. 

"Close the door," Josh murmured without even looking at the boy

"I did." Tyler swallowed the lump in his throat 

"Hm," the man hummed in response

Tyler stood in the middle of Josh's brand new office without a purpose. He wanted to sit down but that would mean that he had to approach the man. Tyler was too scared to do that. He was too scared to look Josh in the eyes.

The guilt was like gasoline in Tyler's guts. His insides died slowly in the toxicity, needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze. The fire burnt him out so badly there was nothing left but a shell, an outline of a person. The silence was deadly, like a blade coated in venom, pressing slowly into the brunet's skin till it started to hiss and melt. The quiet was agonizing, anxiety-inducing. Tyler had learned to live with his anxiety but this time it was something more than an irrational fear. 

"Debby visited today," Josh finally lifted up his head, a cold spike struck Tyler's heart

"Oh?" Tyler acted unnecessary oblivious