The Broken Hearts Club [Joshler]

Bother Me, Tell Me Awful Things

The rain poured down, each drop a small stone, piercing cold. Tyler was the kind of guy loved rain. The boy got to see it rarely during the summer considering the area he lived in. It was all dry pines and heat waves for him. Tyler would thrive off storms and thundering, lightning streaks slashing the sky. Cold electric light reflecting in his eyeballs as he poked his head out the window letting the rain soak into his hair, not caring about the loud noise from the heavens. It would never end well as the ice-cold water dripped on his neck and slid down his back, leaving a wet uncomfortable trail on his shirt. And then the next day Tyler would wake up with a stuffed nose or an aching neck, shiver signalling that he had gotten a fever. But it all was worth it because he got to see the bolts striking down on earth, like a mighty camera flash, blinding everyone for a few seconds. Storms in summer were the best, Tyler loved the rain.

But not today. 

Today instead of usual heavenly, invigorating vibe Tyler felt heavy. He couldn't feel the raindrops on his cheeks but he knew that the rain was shipping his bare face without any remorse. Tyler pulled the hood over his head and tugged on the strings violently, pissed that the wind kept yanking his hood back and spitting cold rain into his face. Tyler pulled the hoodie strings as much as he could and held them firmly as his feet slowly brought the boy to the needed location. 

Tyler's face warmed up, tingles littered his face as hot blood started rushing through his veins again without being numbed by the cold rain. Fall was Tyler's favourite season but it came a little too fast. Tyler watched a few orange leaves float down the street and be sucked into the drain. The leaves laid flat against the iron bars before they slipped through the gaps were the water continued carrying them away, underground this time. 

Tyler recited the dialogue he had written earlier. He read it so many times that he could say it backwards. It was plain, straight to the point without any bullshitting. No matter how many times Tyler practised it in front of the mirror he knew that he'll stutter no matter what, maybe he'll even cry. Heck, he'll definitely cry like that one time when he was seven watching the end of Titanic. Awful movie, by the way, that godawful Celine Dion song made Tyler want to fetch a corkscrew, stick it into his ear and twist it till it reached his brain. 

Deep breaths. Tyler breathed like a lady in labour as he climbed the steps. Deep breaths. Just breathe, Tyler kept telling himself that and then seconds after got angry at his own thoughts. Just breathe. Like Tyler hasn't been doing that his whole life. Honestly, Tyler wished that he didn't so he wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit. Bullshit that he started himself. That was one reason for him to be angry at his stupid self. The same brain who decided to send the video to Steve was now telling him how much of a fuck-up he was. Quite ironic. 

As soon as he opened the door, Tyler heard voices coming from Josh's office. The youth centre looked dull, the lights were off and the shadows looked ghostly. It was almost as bad as the abandoned version. Plastic sheets thrown over the chairs and tables to prevent dust from landing on them. There was still so much work left but the youth centre was slowly getting there. Without any help from Tyler, of course. He couldn't stand being in the same vicinity as the older man. He loved helping but since Josh was almost always there, Tyler couldn't do much work. 

Tyler crept across the room, his ears trying to capture the slightest of sounds coming from the older man's office. Tyler clenched and unclenched his sweaty fists a few times wanting to loosen up his cramped up fingers. The brunet felt the promise ring rub against his skin as he did that. Tyler wanted to get rid of that thing, toss it into an iron box and throw it into the deepest part of the lake or leave it in the middle of the woods so that he could never find it again. But he didn't. It was precious. Precious like every single moment he had spent with Josh. 

"I don't think this is will ever be appropriate...." 

"No, stop- Listen."

Tyler walked as slow as possible, he wasn't the one to eavesdrop but today he felt like he had to. 

"Yes, I know, but I can't do this to him."

Tyler recognized the muffled voice. He stood in front of the door wanting to hear more. 

"Listen-"

The voice was suddenly cut off, Tyler stood in front of the door, hand hovering above the handle. The brunet clenched his jaw and took a deep breath. He opened the door with one vigorous swing to appear like he walked into the room without stopping. 

Apologize.

All you have to do, Tyler.

Just... apologize.

"Jo-" Tyler's lips shut instantly

Josh stared at the boy scared and confused, red lipstick smeared on his lips. Tie loosened up, hair dishevelled, a thin hand gripping his shoulder. Red claws clinging onto his white shirt. Debby glanced at Tyler, gaze full of hatred. There was something victorious in her eyes, a small flame. It was enough to burn Tyler's tiny paper heart. Just one spark. Poof. It was all gone. Gone for the best. 

"Tyler-" Josh tried shaking off Debby's hand "What-What are you doing here?"

"I wanted..." Tyler's bottom lip trembled, he tried as best as he can to conceal his pain, don't let the blonde woman feed off of it 

Apologize.

The brunet took a deep breath and glanced at his shaking hands. The rose gold band around his finger flickered with light. He clenched his jaw. Josh wasn't worth it. he wasn't worth any of this. No matter how badly Tyler fucked up, Josh wasn't worthy of his tears. Not a single one of them. 

Apologize.

Tyler slipped the ring off his finger with ease, his skinny fingers were a tad too small for the ring. 

No.

"I just wanted to give you this," Tyler held the ring with two fingers almost in the level of Josh's eyes.

The man's gaze flickered, his face was filled with confusion once again. 

"W-why?" Josh took a tiny step backwards, his body was refusing to believe this. 

"Why?" Tyler scoffed in a bratty way, eyes rolling sarcastically "I don't fucking want it, that's why."

Tyler pressed the tiny ring into Josh's palm making as little skin contact as possible. Tyler couldn't look at the lipstick stains on Josh's mouth and his collar. Asshole. 

"Ty, I can explain." Josh grabbed Tyler's forearm, Tyler shuddered remembering all the times the man made him feel so vulnerable and weak, yet safe in is arms

"I don't care," Tyler uttered

"What?" Josh sounded hurt

Tyler felt one tear roll down his cheek, his eyes were already red. 

"I don't care." The boy repeated and forcefully removed his hand from Josh's grip

"I-" Josh extended his arm, wanting to give the ring back to Tyler but the brunet just backed away shaking his head "Take it... Please."

"I still have some stuff I need to return," Tyler said nonchalantly

"No..." Josh sighed heavily, his voice was filled with regret

"It will be the last time you ever see my face, I promise." Tyler glanced at the bleached-blond snake

"I'm sorry I was harsh-" Josh started 

"Yeah, whatever, I don't care," Tyler chuckled "Isn't this what you wanted?" 

Josh's eyes widened, his gaze darted around. The man was confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"I ruined your life," Tyler pushed Josh's palm away and tore his gaze off the ring "You wanted me out of it. You wanted me to go away. That's exactly what I'm gonna do." 

"I love you," Josh blurted out, he tried grasping the brunet's hand but the boy skillfully dodged it "Don't do this to me-"

"Goodbye, Josh." A sorrow smirk curved the corners of Tyler's lips "Have a great life."