Accidental • D.S

15

Stella
i walked through the busy streets of dublin, the last stop of tour. it didn't seem like a few weeks had already gone by, in fact it only felt like the beginning. time flew by way to fast.

i arrived at st.stephans green and took in the amazing sight. it did feel really weird being alone in the park but i needed time away from the boys, as pressure was building up for them to put on an unreal final show and stress was building up for me to be absolutely fine and dandy, when in reality i wasn't. i was missing jay a lot and it killed me. i rang his phone everyday to make sure it was true, even though the sight of him in a casket was real enough for me, is still didn't get it. of course his phone would go straight to voicemail and every time i left a message.
putting on a front isn't always easy, and it's also hard to realise. waking up every morning and snapping myself into a different person isn't my exact forté. i much prefer being myself, but right now, she isn't the greatest human ever. the boys have a tour to worry about, they don't need my sad moping ass following them around all day, but instead the need me to be happy and supportive, the supportive part i can do no matter what, but the happy part isn't here right now. even though i'm almost certain the boys wouldn't mind taking a few hours off tour to help me or tell me i just need time, i don't want to bring it on them. i'd much rather to bottle everything up, not ideal.

i sat on a bench and got lost in my thoughts. i watched the world go by, while i pondered ways to stay happy.

after what felt like hours, i left the park. on my way out i felt a tap on my shoulder. i turned around and was met with a bright eyed, teenage girl. "hi stella!" she spoke with her thick irish accent. "uhm, my name is ava. i'm a big fan of your photography and youtube channel! would you mind if we got a picture?" she smiled. "of course! thanks so much for stopping me!" i replied. i put on a big smile and took a selfie with her. we chatted for a few minutes about the boys and their music and she informed me that she was going to the show tonight. she also told me about her fan page. "it was lovely to meet ava" i smiled. "you too!" she smiled back. i gave her a quick hug and we parted ways.

i got back to the hotel and went into instagram. i went onto ava's fanpage and followed it. she had tagged me in a post, it was the picture we took earlier.
i stood in the lobby and started to put my phone away, when i felt a pair of warm arms snake around my waist. i turned around and saw daniel. "hey" i simply smiled. "hello there" daniel replied. "how was your walk?" he asked. "it was beautiful, ireland is so interesting." we chatted a bit more about it, until we got ready to leave for the show.

we arrived at the olympia theatre and it was beautiful. i walked into the centre of the stage and took in the arena. i heard footsteps follow me onto the stage. "how about you preform that little song you've been working on?" he whispered, down my neck. "you saw that?!" i replied. "not purposely, you're notebook was open on the hotel room bed," "i love it."

the crowds erupted in cheers as the concert started. the boys energetically jumped around the stage, feeling their own music. it was great to see them end tour on such a high note. "okay guys, the night is coming to a close, there is one more song!" zach sighed. the crowd all groaned. "but! we have a special guest appearance!" daniel smiled. the crowd all cheered. "for the first time ever, preforming an original, please welcome stella rose knightly!" my jaw dropped open, i didn't think he was serious. i hesitantly walked onto the stage and the chorus of loud screams filled the arena. stage directors were setting up a keyboard and a seat. i walked over to daniel. "you can do this babe, don't worry."

i took my seat infront of the keyboard. i was dressed casually in a black skirt a seavey jersey with my black vans. breathe just breathe. i took a deep breath as the crowd went quite. i began to play the chords of my song 'ocean eyes'.

ocean eyes
original artist; billie eilish :))

[verse one]
i've been watching you, for sometime
can't stop staring at those ocean eyes.
burning cities and napalm skies,
fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes,
your ocean eyes

[chorus]
no fair
you really know how to make me cry
when you give me those ocean eyes.
i'm scared,
i've never fallen from quiet this high,
falling into your ocean eyes,
those ocean eyes.

[verse two]
i've been walking through a world gone blind
can't stop thinking of your diamond mind
careful creature, made friends with time
you left her lonely with a diamond mind
and those ocean eyes.

[chorus]
no fair
you really know how to make me cry
when you give me those ocean eyes
i'm scared,
i've never fallen from quiet this high,
falling into your ocean eyes,
those ocean eyes.

i closed my eyes most of the way through and when i reopened them everyone was screaming and clapping for me. i felt special, loved and, for the first time in a while, happy. i smiled and stood up. i thanked everybody and walked off stage.