Hello and welcome back! Today's chapter will be focused on Once a Legend by @concussive on Wattpad. I would also like to note that this is my second time reading this story, this time with a more critical eye.
Once a Legend is an Action/Adventure novel written in the first person point of view. It follows the story of Max Destin, a notorious on-the-run vigilante.
Here's What I Liked:
Wow. Where to even begin?
Max Destin is nothing short of an icon, a legend if I say so myself. It's hard to show this type of persona through writing, but you perfected it. Your characterization of Max was brilliant and I could tell you used two specific elements to portray her properly.
For one, her attitude flashed through her monologues and made her very memorable. These bursts of sass came when she described Winston almost condescendingly, especially when she compared herself to Bugs Bunny in how she's never caught, but allows their game of hide and seek to continue. Her persona is also displayed in her dialogue with Danny, the disgraced Junior CIA Agent. When she wonders if he'd jump when she approached him and he does, I found myself understanding just exactly why she's a legend. People fear her, but she's invisible. She's plastered on every news outlet and she's strategic enough to still come out ahead. I got all of that just from her narrative, which shows the immense talent of the author.
No wonder you won a Watty!
Back to Danny. The dialogue between him and Destin was well done. It was smooth, very James Bond-esque and captured the overall tone of the story within a few lines. I actually loved Danny from this conversation, because of how idiotic he was portrayed as a teenager for not listening to orders and how his lazy fat cat-ness had remained the same regardless, if only with a dash of added charisma. It helps that Max and Danny have an immediate spark in their conversation, too. There's an obvious connection and it helps the dialogue flow even better than it already does.
Let me also add one more amazing thing that I love about this story. The way this story utilizes punchy, action-movie like cliffhangers is genius. The end of the prologue, where Max Destin is officially introduced, pulled me into the rest of the novel immediately. I wanted to read more about her, to see if the legend lives up to the name (Spoiler Alert: IT DOES). And at the end of the first chapter, where Max has Danny by the collar and says they're going to Beijing, I found myself clicking the next chapter right away. The cliffhangers really do this story justice and you've employed them well.
Here's What I Didn't Like:
While there's a lot to love about this story, I found a few little things that I thought I should point out.
I want to be completely honest so first, I'd like to start by saying that I was bored and skimming through pages during chapter two and three. This isn't on the account of the plot or the characterization. I think it was more because there was an uneven ration of dialogue to description.
Max's monologues are normally very interesting, but at certain points, they come off tired. In particular, I saw it when she described Winston and Danny's appearances, respectively. You could fix this by breaking up descriptions into shorter paragraphs and scatter them through the chapter so they act as observations instead of an information dump. You could also try adding description through dialogue tags and the dialogue itself. I'd rather hear Max sarcastically comment on Danny's golden eyes, than see a large chunk of words describing his entire demeanor in one shot.
This same descriptive critique goes for backstory. You took pages to describe aspects of Winston and Danny's personality too, beyond their exterior appearance. This was really refreshing, at first, because I could tell that Destin was an observant and analytical person who never forgets a single detail. However, it became too much. My eyes started skimming again. To avoid this, dispersal is key.
I really do believe I said the same things over and over again and I'm sorry about that, but I couldn't find much else I didn't like about this story! Once a Legend is absolutely legendary and it deserves all the praise it gets, including my own.
Favorite Quote:
"It's the difference between watching a lioness prowl at a distance, as compared to finding oneself face to face with her."
Rating:
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Note to The Author:
Thank you for submitting your story! It was a pleasure to read and I hope you felt this review was helpful. It is 810 words long.
