The Gilmore Paladins - "They Shoot Paladins, Don't They?"

Chapter 11

It was fourteen hours into the marathon. Forty-five couples remained on the dance floor. Lance had cycled through his normal span of awake hours and was ready for bed again. He was trying to take a nap against his dad's chest as Lotor did the swaying for both of them when he was shaken back awake.

"Slav," Lotor whispered to him.

"Mm?"

Lotor started leading Lance is a more active looking dance as Slav and Olia circled by them. As soon as Slav had passed, Lotor let Lance's head drop back to his shoulder.

"How much longer?" yawned Lance.

"Oh, chin up soldier. We should be getting a break pretty soon."

"I hope so."

"Oh good, there she is," said Zethrid dancing herself and Ezor over to them.

"Zethrid, please," warned Ezor.

"Hey guys," said Lotor.

"Well, hey to you, too. Listen, I wanted to ask you, what do you think of my hair?"

"What?"

"My hair. How's it look to you? Any opinion?"

"It looks good," said Lotor. Zethrid had attempted to slick it back for her Prince costume.

"Zethrid, you're overacting," said Ezor, clearly upset about something.

"You think? How 'bout you, Lotor? You think I'm overreacting?"

"Zethrid, what?" asked Lotor, confused as to what the point of this conversation was.

Before Zethrid could reply, a horn sounded.

"Oh my ancient ones," gasped Lotor.

"What? What?" asked Lance, raising his head up.

"The runaround."

"The runaround?" repeated Lance, looking at Lotor through sleep heavy eyelids. "That does not sound good."

"I'm sorry, baby," Lotor apologized as he pulled Lance over to the outside of the basketball court where the other couples were lining up. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Ladies and Gentlemen," boomed Alfor, "on your marks. . . get set. . . and go!"

Mister Coran fired a pistol into the air. The couples started running along the outside of the basketball court. Lotor needed to drag Lance in order to keep up with the flow.

"Round and round they go, but when the song stops, nobody knows," Alfor howled into a megaphone. "But the last five couples that finish behind the red line are automatically out, so hold onto your partner and move, move, move!"

"You're getting too much pleasure out of this, Alfor," said Coran.

Zethrid pushed through the other couples until her and Ezor were able to run directly behind Lotor and Lance as they did laps around the gym.

"Hey Lotor, just wondering, how's my running?" yelled Zethrid, "Got an opinion on that?"

"Zethrid, what's going on?" asked Lotor.

"Nothing," answered Ezor, "She's mad at me and she's taking it out on you."

"Oh, I'm not mad. I just didn't realize that when I married Ezor, I also married you. I didn't realize I was a polyamorous Kaluvian from the Despod sector. My mistake."

"I need to interject for one second to tell you that I hate you!" groaned Lance, as Lotor continued to drag him along.

"Thanks, honey."

"Quit trying to drag Lotor into this," Ezor scolded.

"Fine, I will," said Zethrid, dropping Ezor's hand and marching off the dance floor.

"Ezor, wait!" Ezor pulled her yellow card out of her cone bra and held it above her head while she ran off after Zethrid. "Yellow cards, right here! I've got 'em for the both of us. We'll be right back!"

"One of you is supposed to stay here," said Alfor through the megaphone, but Ezor was already following Zethrid out into the hall "Hey!"

"I think I'm going to die," wheezed Lance. How many laps had they done so far?

"Me first," said Lotor, pushing himself to keep from slowing down.

"How much longer?"

"I don't know. I just know that every year I block this part out."

"From now on I'm going to remind you of it."

Lotor looked over his shoulder and saw Slav running directly behind him, nipping at his heels.

"Slav, what are you doing?"

"I'm drafting you," answered Slav.

"Well, stop it!"

"You can't tell me where to run! And I conserve 14.7% of my energy by cutting down on wind resistance."

"Slav, I swear to God, don't make me come back there!"

The horn sounded again. Lotor sprinted ahead, pulling Lance along so they could finish by passing the red finish line the refs had set up. As soon as they crossed, the line, they collapsed to the ground, joining all the other couples that had collapsed before them.

"Ten minute break everyone, ten minute break," announced Alfor. "Well run."

From his spot on the ground, Lance started shaking his leg towards Lotor.

"What are you doing?" asked Lotor.

"I'm trying to kick you, but I can't reach."

"I would help you, but I can't move."

"Can I owe you one?" muttered Lance.

"Yeah, no problem," said Lotor, sitting up. "Okay, okay, heart returning to normal. I have to go find Zethrid and Ezor."

"I'll get us a couple of sandwiches," said Lance, pushing himself up to sitting.

"Good idea." Lotor stood and gave Lance a hand up. "This is fun, huh?"

"Uh huh, big fun," mumbled Lance.