The Gilmore Paladins - "They Shoot Paladins, Don't They?"

Chapter 13

Inside the gymnasium Lotor walked up to Shiro's coffee stand. "Have you seen Ezor and Zethrid?"

"Nope," answered Shiro without even a hint of interest.

"I've looked everywhere for them."

"Have you tried the insane asylum where everybody in this room is supposed to be?"

"Okay, I need to say something here," said Zethrid, marching up behind Lotor.

Lotor turned around. "Oh, I've been looking all over for you."

"I wish you would just drop this," said Ezor, catching up to her wife.

Zethrid ignored her and said to Lotor, "Contrary to your belief, there are some things in life that you do not have the right to have an opinion on."

"What?" asked Lotor, lost.

"And the rate at which I have kids and the amount of kids I wish to have falls directly under that category."

"Ezor, what did you tell him?" sighed Lotor.

Ezor twisted her foot on the ground, nervously, "Okay, you see, once again, my communication skills - not so good."

"Zethrid, I didn't mean to get involved in any of this," said Lotor, sincerely.

"No? Telling Ezor that she needs to immediately inform me that four in four is crazy?"

Lotor looked at Ezor with a disappointed look. "Oh, Ezor."

"Yeeeeeah, it did come out something like that," admitted Ezor.

"Aw man."

"What's four in four?" asked Shiro.

"Four kids in four deca-phoebs," explained Lotor.

"That is crazy."

"Oh good, yes," said Zethrid, "let's open this up to even more discussion."

"One kid in four deca-phoebs is crazy," said Shiro.

"Hey!" growled Zethrid.

"Sorry," said Shiro in a tone that was anything but sorry. "Go ahead, drop another sucker in this mess."

Lotor gave Shiro an exasperated look. "Okay, raise your hand if you're not helping."

"Does anyone here understand that a woman has a right not to have her personal life debated in a public forum?" cried Zethrid. "I am not Taylor Swift!"

'Altean?' Shiro mouthed to Lotor. Lotor shook his head no.

"Well, I know that," said Ezor.

"I'm sorry, Zethrid," apologized Lotor. "I didn't mean –"

"My child-bearing arrangements are between me and Ezor," said Zethrid, firmly.

"And the Life Givers," added Shiro then he looked at Lotor. "Still not helping?"

"Zethrid, just please calm down," begged Ezor.

"I will calm down. I'll calm down at home."

"But what about the contest?" gasped Ezor.

"To hell with the contest! I'm quitting the contest. That is, if it's okay with Lotor or Shiro or that strange man in the corner who I've never met," said Zethrid pointed directly at Bii-boh-bi. "Excuse me, strange man in the corner? Is it okay if I quit this contest?"

"Bii boh?" said Bii-boh-bi.

Zethrid scowled at him and stormed off anyway.

"I'm so sorry," said Zethrid to Lotor as she backed away. "I got tongue-tied and things just started coming out and I couldn't stop them and. . ."

"Go," urged Lotor.

Ezor spun on her heals. "Zethrid, honey, wait!" She ran after her wife.

"Oh, they're gonna make great parents," said Shiro with an eyeroll. Lotor gave him a playful swat.

Alfor's voice came booming over the sound system, "All dancers back on the dance floor. All dancers back on the dance floor."

"Dad!" Lance came scrambling up to Lotor, holding out the second sandwich.

Lotor took the sandwich with one hand and grabbed Lance's hand with the other. "Let's go!"