Stephanie & Xander

Chapter 2

Was our house really this big? This stupid mutt is so small to occupy the space that is supposed to be occupied by another person. I want Emily here. Dad is such a jerk. If he's going to buy a dog, he should've bought a Great Dane, a Chocolate Lab or a Tibetan Mastiff, for heaven's sake.

Whenever I eat alone on the table, I can imagine Emily sitting across from me, chewing her food slowly. I even have a strange dream. It's pure nonsense really. It's her sitting on a table and everything else behind her is blowing up. It's an apocalypse but she's there chewing slowly.

It was a weird dream but I've got that dream's message. She's a person who needs to be protected and my sole purpose of existing is to be there beside her.

Love has reduced me into a hovering, wandering, useless retard, simply drifting my days thinking of nothing but Emily. Oh Emily! Light of my life, fire of my loins! Dare not to say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. I wish I knew how to quit you. You're a mortal danger to all men. You are beautiful without knowing it, and possessed charms that you're not even aware of. You're like a trap set by nature – a sweet perfumed rose in whose petals Cupid lurks in ambush! By my soul, I can neither eat, drink or sleep; nor, what's still worse, love any woman in the world but you. If I were to live a thousand years, I would belong to you for all of them. If we were to live a thousand lives, I would want to make you mine in each one.

And for some reason I remember all the cheesiest lines I've ever read. Oh, Emily. How come you made me crazy for you in nothing but your name, a glance, a few talk, a half lunch and a slap?

It was yet another two months before my father decided to come back to the Orphanage and I'm so happy I couldn't contain my bliss! I'll get to see her again.

Maybe this time I'll get to have a longer conversation with her and maybe put my arms around her little shoulders, or run my fingers to her hair. Emily! I'm coming!

When we enter, my eyes immediately find its way to her. She's so visible.

She averts her eyes when it meets mine. I like how she plays shy.

And so, like before my parents left me be with the children. I don't see any children or I just couldn't see the children, which is worse... which will actually make Emily look way more normal, which is actually creepy if I'm looking at Emily and there might be four or five more eyes I'm looking through before reaching her.

She approaches me and judging from how she looks, she's willing to be more cooperative. So, I forget about the Brazilian restaurant. It has terrible memories of half-eaten lunch. The Burritos it is! You can't go wrong with Mexican food!

So we eat. And, she's the very first person I've ever seen chewing guacamole without nachos. Her teeth are surely taking away the job that is supposed to be her stomach's. But, love makes me think that every little thing, every little habit she does is adorable. I'm so insane.

"You're prettier than Aphrodite and brighter than Polaris." I say, stroking her hair but she slaps my hand right away.

"Stop it. I don't know Aphrodite and I don't know which star is Polaris so stop with all these cheesy lines. Are you making fun of me?" she says with her voice trembling. She seems to be in the verge of crying. She always does.

"I-I'm really sorry. I just... I just want to be closer to you. We could start as friends." I say, realizing that my puny delusions are indeed nothing but delusions. I freaked her out.

Her worried face suddenly turns into a subtle smile, "You're pretty understanding. I have the wrong idea about rich kids. I thought you're all pampered kids who would make fun of us just because we're orphans. Thank you."

Damn! She's so pure! Um, actually I wanna tell her that I'm just an orphan too kept for display. It's in a way that if I die, they'll give me some wonderful funeral just because that is how they're supposed to bury their quote unquote child. I'm not trying to be melodramatic but I can totally see that coming.

And so we talked. I stopped saying cheesy lines and I stop getting nervous around her. The surrounding is in normal speed and my heart has calmed down. I can see her clearly now. God... again if there's God, I want this girl. She's so kind and pure and loving. And she said sorry for lumping me in with all her ideas of rich kids. She doesn't have to be sorry because it's all real. Honestly, I'm way worse than that but I don't find any reason why I should tell her. I could just change for the better. That way, I'm not keeping something from her.

We're lying atop soft drink crates for hours talking with each other about the lives we've lived until I realized that it's getting late. With her the time is alive. It's like a bird. It's flying. I have to wrap this up somehow.

"I don't know when we'll be seeing each other again, so, should we give each other something?" she suggests. She just took the initiative! I could die!

"Ah, yes!" I run towards our car and took my camera. Dad wants me to study photography but I never liked taking pictures but now that Emily is here. I can probably take thousands of pictures every day. All her. She's so good in anything, "Here, let me take a picture of you."

"Oh, wait I'm not prepared for this!" she mutters, fixing her hair. She's always beautiful though. I lean and hesitatingly touch her hair, placing it to the back of her ear. She lets me, "You're gorgeous." I say.

She giggles, "I can't believe you're saying that. You were so beautiful too, you know?"

"Are we talking about my personality or you're really calling me beautiful?"

"You kind of look like a girl." She laughs.

I don't know if that's an insult. If it is, I forgive her. I'm still young. If she finds me feminine now, I'll definitely grow up and become a better man with manly features and sharp jaws. And of course broad shoulders to keep her safe all the time.

Once again, the sensation is back: the trembling of my hands, the thumping of my chest, the spinning of my head. Gawd, it feels like any time from now, my mouth will start foaming and I'll fell down in seizures.

She clears her throat, trying to recover from laughing. She sits straight as I step back, levelling the camera, "In one, two..." she smiles and landed a fatal blow in my heart. I clicked.

She needs something to remember me too. I should've brought a Polaroid cam instead of this DSLR! Oh wait. I fumbled to my pocket and found a pocket watch. This will probably do. If I told my father I lost it, he'll surely buy me a new one. "Here, have this. My name is etched inside the lid so you'll remember me anytime you look at it, okay?"

"Thank you. I'm sorry I couldn't give you anything."

"No, your photo is more than enough. I'll put it in a locket and keep it next to my chest. I'll treasure it forever." I say and mumbles soft enough so she can't hear, "I love you."

I bet she heard it. She just doesn't know what to say or react about it so she didn't.

But to be frank, I don't need to rush things up. We're both still young. I mean at this age we should've been playing. We can spend our growing days knowing each other... to be with each other.

"Bye-bye." I wave my hands.

"Bye-bye." She answers with a giggle. That's dangerous to my heart.

"Bye-bye."I say as I enter the car.

"Bye-bye." She says when I'm already inside.

And, we said bye-bye to each other until we cannot hear each other anymore and she cannot see the car anymore. I want to be back here ASAP. Oh! I know! Maybe Dad should just adopt her so we can be together every day. No, no, no, no, no. That would also mean that we're going to be siblings. I can't marry her if she's my sibling.

Probably, the best thing to happen is for her to never be adopted. It's a rude thing to say about an orphan whom all she wished is to have a home and a family she can belong to and I wish to strip her off of that. Well, we can build our own family someday with five children and probably a dog, a proper dog, probably a Great Dane, Chocolate Lab or Tibetan Mastiff, a large one who wasn't named 'Victor'.

It hasn't been fifteen minutes since we left the orphanage and I already miss her.