Stephanie & Xander

Chapter 5

I'm home. Actually, it's Abby and Laqueta's house I'm referring to. It's best to kill time by manning the thrift shop. Customers flood this place even in weekdays.

I don't know. I probably should mess my mind with something else, like these willow paints on a Chinese oblong plate. It's quite heavy and quite pricey. It wasn't meant for eating I've heard.

I love it here. The vintage looking shop and a Volkswagen beetle on the garage. Abby's paintings lined up on the hallway along with picture frames, which two are family pictures including me and Emily.

It's like I was adopted too when they adopted her. Mom might've left me but I still got two moms here. I'm not as sad as I thought I would be.

My phone vibrates. Did I set another weird alarm again? Oops no, it's a text. I never get a text except from networks notifying me of a new promo or some weird facts I didn't subscribe into or verification code from sites I made an account to. It's a text. A real text from a real human.

I viewed it and it says: Hi, I'm Alexa Woodward. I got your number from your father. Let's be friends! *grinning emoji*

Let's be friends? I bet her father told her about some possible engagement too and here she is trying to be friends with me. Friends with a chance of getting married. But seriously, I admire her for giving it all she got for her parents sake. She must've been raised knowing that she'll never marry someone she loves.

I reply: Hello, I'm Stephan Kaufman. Good day.

Alexa: Oh! I'm glad you replied. So, can we be friends? *Smiling with blush emoji*

Me: I'm not nice.

Alexa: I don't have any friends. When I heard that my father is friends with your father and his son is about my age. I was so happy I could actually cry *laughing emoji with tears*

Me: Sorry to disappoint you but I really am not nice.

Alexa: But, the fact that you're replying to me must mean you didn't want to leave me hanging. You're actually nice. *grinning emoji*

She got me there. Emily enters the shop and I immediately tuck my phone away. I don't know but somehow it feels like I'm cheating. I'm not cheating, right? I just talked with another woman and talking with another woman doesn't always mean we're gonna hook up. But, I'm still talking to my potential wife! Oh my god, I just cheated.

"What?" Emily raises her brows, "You look like you've just stepped on a shit."

"Can you repeat that?"

"Huh? Repeat what?"

I smile, "I like the way you said shit."

"Perv." She laughs, subtly hitting my chest.

Emily is like that. Shit will never be a word you use whenever you experience something unexpected like a spilt ink or a surprise quiz. Shit will be shit, like an animal poop. It's like how she says bitch. A whore isn't a bitch. A bitch is a female dog. Or asshole. Asshole is a part of the body. A person can't be an asshole unless he's that body part 'literally'. So, probably she sees the world a little differently than I do, a little more interesting than I do.

She took the guitar on display. It was really meant for display but most of the time, some regulars play it. It's a guitar for everyone. But, the best memory I have with that guitar is when Emily said that it looks like it belongs to me. I play it best.

Now, that she handed me the guitar means that she wants me to play. I have a lot of things in me right now but I don't feel like I have to talk to it with Emily. So, I'm glad she's asking me to play because I badly need someone to listen.

I sang her 'Close to you.' It's one of her favourite songs. She's an old soul. I'm so into Pierce the Veil but if she wants to listen to Celine Dion or Elliot Smith then I'll sing her their songs. Any songs actually. I love it how she closes her eyes every time I sing. Like, how she's now in the crowd around me. It's the best.

After I finished singing Close to you, Abby and Laqueta joined us. I love this. This isn't past yet, but it feels nostalgic. So, I sing two more songs. And, I remember my mom. She probably failed to find her true love. She married the wrong guy. And, now it's getting all complicated. And, my stupid dad is trying to engage me to someone I don't even know.

I stop in the middle of a song and ask Emily, "Do you love me?"

Abby puts her hand above my shoulders as if detecting there's something wrong. Laqueta is expectant. For someone so quiet, she sure loves teenage romance. "What are you saying?" Emily smiles, "We've been together since we're seven. I lean on to you through those times where I have no one to lean to and I listen to your stories and we laugh at each other's embarrassing moments."

That's not the kind of answer I wanted. It's wrong of me to ask for assurance. We're still just thirteen so she probably thinks that we're still too young to settle down with each other. Probably even if we're twenty-five like Abby and Laqueta, she'll still think we're too young for romance. We will never be of the right age when it comes to the two of us.

Someday she'll fall in love with me, I hang onto that. But, what if she's my true love but I'm not hers? What if 'true love' isn't always have to be mutual?

I smile at her because I don't want to worry her. I should always be strong so that if there are times she's weak, she can lean onto me. I'll always be her home.

I didn't sleep in Abby's tonight. I didn't want to be there. For the first time, the future scares me. I can't imagine a future where Emily isn't my wife. I can't imagine her being happy with someone else. But, if I force myself to her, would that make me like my father? I don't want to.

Alexa: Good night, Stephan. I hope your worries fade by tomorrow *angel emoji*

Me: How did you know I'm worried?

Alexa: Oh, are you? I just assumed you are.*emoji with large eyes and no mouth*

Me: Thanks for texting me though. I appreciate that. Good night.

Alexa: Good night! *sleepy emoji*

Somewhere someone cares. It actually feels satisfying to think that someone bothers texting me this late in the evening wishing my worries to fade by tomorrow. It's not anything romantic. It's purely platonic but still... I'm glad. I hope Emily is thinking of me too.