Chapter 4
“Hinoko!” A voice called.
Well , speak of the devil.
He ran to me , panting. “Jesus Hinoko! What the hell where you thinking just running like that!
I was shaken already , now my head was being heavily stirred.
“And to the restricted section at that! It’s dangerous here!”
I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t think straight with this idiot here. My head kept spinning , it was annoying how all i could do was look at him like a frightened mouse. It annoyed me how I couldn’t keep myself back when he was around.
He looked at my face , a concerned look passed in his eyes.
“Hinoko’ he said softly ‘Are you alright?”
He reached out and touched my hand , and I pulled back stumbling.
‘Hinoko.....” His voice trailed away.
Under his gaze , my legs gave way and I was sent tumbling down to the floor landing with a hard thump.
“Hinoko!” Haruki gasps bending down to help me.
“Stay away”
I stare at him. I close my eyes tight , hoping when I open them he’ll be gone.
“Please stay away” I whisper. I don’t sense him doing anything. But I sense myself falling apart.
Like an idiot , tears well in my eyes and they fall like rain.
He gets up and looks away from me , holding out his hand he speaks.
‘Come on. I live in the dorms here. Let’s get you some rest. You’r tired and all right?”
I stare at his open hand for a moment then get up. Not taking it.
I stand up and wipe my eyes then walk past him and around the corner.
As I walk , I remember the feeling of his hand when my arm brushed past it.
It was......familiar.
Haruki leads me to his dorm. Inside it was small , a bed in the corner a table and a lamp. That was all. His bed was messy and a pillow was on the floor.
Had he been sleeping before he came looking for me?
Haruki closed the door behind me.
“Yeah....sorry for the mess.”
He made a small attempt at clearing away the pile of t-shirts but he soon gave up and flopped on his bed.
I stood awkwardly at the door for a few moments before heading over to the desk and making myself comfortable in the rickety wheeled desk chair.
A silence passed.
‘You must be tired.” Haruki said suddenly.
‘huh? Uh yeah I guess so.” I say hurriedly
I fiddle with my hair as another silence passes.
“Come here , you can sleep on the bed.” Haruki says
“Well , what about you? Where are you going to sleep?”
“On the bed. Where else” He remarks giving me a are-you-an-idiot-? face.
“But aren’t I sleeping on the bed?” I say trying to clarify.
“uh..yeah , I just said that”
I stare at him blankly.
He sits up abruptly , ruffling his hair with his hands in an annoyed fashion.
‘Gosh , are you that thick?’ Haruki sighs ‘ We’re sharing the bed moron.”
“But!’ I exclaim
‘What” He laughs ‘You think i’m gonna give up my bed for you? Hell no”
He laughs then lies down again.
I clench my fist , that moron. That insufferable piece of ... of! That idiot.....
Only moments ago was I crying in front of him. I had never cried in front of anyone for 10 years. Yet he didn’t tease me , or mock me. He just lay there staring at the ceiling as if nothing had happened.
He didn’t even realize how much that meant to me.
I push him over to the right.
“How am I supposed to share if your in the way” I laugh.
He turns and smiles at me. The same smile , that true smiled that tells me that he really did want me there.
That smile gave me the feeling , that feeling i had always wanted.
The feeling of being needed
Of being really , truly and deeply wanted.
And maybe for the first time in my life , I had truly smiled back.
YOU ARE READING
My Love
RomansaI've been unloved and lonely for so long , yet i came to terms with it. I knew how to deal with the abuse and the terror and the miserablness of my empty heart. But , just as i thought it'd never move again , you came along and made it. Did you scre...
