What's a Girl to Do? (Season 4)

Chapter Four: Behind the Veil

I stepped firmly down upon the gas as I set my course to Patsy's Pies; I didn't know what it was about Josh that had set me off just now. All I did know was that I needed my older sister, and I needed her now. When I arrived, I parked out in front as per usual, getting out of and locking my car behind me, and pulling my leather jacket more firmly around my shoulders as I circled my car to the curb, stepped up, and walked towards the door. I hesitated for a moment, remembering the last time I'd been in, just before Charlotte's funeral, standing in the kitchen in the back, and allowing myself to be tempted by fate, allowing Nicholas to kiss me.

Pushing the thought from my mind, I wrapped my fingers around the door and pulled it open, walking inside immediately and spotting Fiona behind the counter. Not wanting to make trouble, I sat at the counter, and Fiona promptly put a slice of chocolate crème pie in front of me. I found myself sighing then, my shoulders nearly deflating completely as I reached for the fork, but Fiona reached out and stopped me, her hold on my wrist causing me to raise my eyes to hers, and she could sense the pain behind mine.

"Talk," she said softly.

I sighed. "I'm not in the mood to talk," I confessed, my voice close to the breaking point. "I just came here because I needed you... I'm playing the little sister card, Fiona. I know I only get so many of those in my life, but, I figure, since I came into yours so late..."

Fiona shoved the pie out of the way then, leaning across the counter and giving me a hug. "Trust me, Murph, you get as much of those as you want," she assured me. "I love you, and you're my sister, and I can't stand to see you unhappy."

I sighed, quickly dashing the tears from my eyes. "Thanks, Fi. That really means a lot to me, and you'll never know how much..."

"It's fine," she told me firmly, pulling back and wiping the rest of my tears away. "Now, why don't you tell me about the doctor's appointment?" she asked, moving my hair to the side to get a look at my skin. "I don't see a bandage..."

I nodded. "Yeah, they took it off."

Fiona grinned. "That's amazing, Murph! You must be so relieved!"

I gave another nod. "I was."

My sister arched an eyebrow. "But?"

I shook my head. "No, I mean, I understood the whole protocol aspect to it, really I did, but my doctor had to bring up plastic surgery to me..."

Fiona nodded. "And you're against it?"

I stammered for a moment before figuring out just what to say. "Not for everyone," I said. "I mean, I'm sure it's good for some people, but it just wouldn't work for me. I mean, I literally got this from saving someone's life, Fiona—two lives. And it's not just for the sentimentality I've got which is attached to it, but the notion that I'm still here."

"Still here?" Fiona asked.

I smiled up at her. "Yeah—still here. Still here despite everything I've gone through in my life and I'm happy to be here. If I'd broken under the pressure and devastation that Dr. Normal supplied, then I wouldn't have made my way home, to where I really belonged. I wouldn't have found all of you, I wouldn't have had Iana..."

"Wouldn't have fallen in love with Nicholas?" she asked.

Immediately, I shook my head. "No."

She blinked. "What?"

"No, I don't love him," I said, the thought of bearing my soul to anyone else in my entire life in that way feeling like a sickness to me.

"But you're together..."