Layla ( A Dark Beauty Novel) {Urban}

C H A P T E R 2 : Lay & Kae.

Tuesday
June 11th, 2014
8:00 p.m

        It's been four days since me and Kae left the hospital, and I can definitely vouch for any new teen mother when I say it's tiring trying to raise a baby as you catch up with school work. All I wanted to do was go to bed, but Kaedence was making that an impossible task, and with out the help from Darien I'm afraid that I'm going to go insane.

    I hate that Darien bailed out and has been a-wall ever since the day in the hospital. This whole new parenting shit wouldn't be hard if he pitched in, but I guess some shit never change. As I said before, its been four days since me and Darien has last spoken. I sent him a text expressing how much I didn't want his 'business' around my children, but him being the idiot, knuckle-hard head that he is, didn't even bother to respond back.

      I know it was wrong of me to argue about 'business' in front of family, especially since I know how important it is to him for our business to be kept private, but I couldn't help myself; my feelings mixed with the drugs were just to much to contain. It's not like I'm asking for him to stop, 'cause I know his beige ass won't, but I'd just wish he'd consider it, or at least slow down for the sake of Junior and now Kaedence. In a way I guess I brought this shit on myself because I knew asking my baby daddy to stop sellin' was like asking a hoe to stop trickin'; useless. It's not like the old days when we were just living for us; now we have kids and we have to live for them, and at the end of the day I'm just thinking about my kids. 

    Ever since the shooting that happened a couple months back its been a struggle for our relationship. It's not the same between us; I know it and he knows it. We're both stuck in the same place. Just like I want him to slow down, I know deep down that he wants to too, but he can't. Things have become so complicated that I cant even call us together, nor split up; we're just here. I keep trying to remain that downass chick he fell in love with, but its so hard to do when he constantly puts me through shit like this.

    Wait a minute. Why in the hell am I sitting here tryna' blame myself for his careless actions? I'm not the one who was on the phone with another bitch, but yet I was suffering while he was out being a big hoe.

    Breaking me from my thoughts were the muffled cries of my daughter. I tossed my books to the side of me and slowly rose up out of bed. I trudged around my bed and then headed for the door. I walked down the hallway and opened the already cracked door. I quietly entered inside the room and walked over to her crib. I watched as she silently whimpered in her sleep. Her eyes opened and she began to squirm around. "You just don't sleep do you?" I asked as I picked her up. I huffed as I moved over to the pink rocking chair that sat in the corner of the room. I rested Kaedence on my shoulder and placed her head so that her face was adjacent to mine.

      As I rocked slowly I admired how beautiful my baby is. Everything about her either reminded me of Darien or me. She is the epitome of a beautiful baby and I couldn't be happier. She had charcoal colored hair and her complexion was a golden brown color. Her lips were pouty and pink, and her eyes were light brown, something she inherited from her father.

        I continued to gently rub her back as whines continued to muffle out her mouth. "Come on Kae," I began. "mama's got work to finish." I told her as I gently and slowly began to bounce her up and down on my shoulder. I shook my head in anger. "This is bullshit," I mumbled. It seems as if all through this pregnancy I've been alone. It pisses me off that he's not here to help. I didn't create Kaedence all on my own, so why did I have to take care of her all on my own? Had he not pulled that fucked up stunt he did that day, he'd be here with me and her, and I'd be done with my homework. What nigga you know would rather be caked up on the phone with some bitch, rather than spend time with his daughter? The shit just don't make no sense.
     

   Kaedence shut her eyes and a smile appeared upon her face."Oh so you like when I talk to you, huh?" She continued to whine as I talked to her. After a couple more whimpers I got her under control. As I softly rubbed her back, I watched as her eyes fluttered open and closed. I leaned down and smelled her hair, and planted a gently kiss to the top of her head."I love you princess." I whispered. Seconds later there was a knock at the door, and in walked my mother. "Hi mama," I greeted.
 

"Hey sweetheart." she greeted as she moved closer into the room.

"Is she awake?" she questioned as she moved closer.

"She was, but I just put her back to sleep." I told her.

"Aww," she cooed. Kodeni crouched down on the floor and looked up to me. "You look exhausted."
   

    I yawned. "I am." I answered bleakly.
   

"Have you talked to De' lately?" she asked.

"Nope," I began. "and I don't plan on it either." I continued. "he wanna' be an ass then so will I." I announced.

"Y'all need ta' stop it," she warned. "y'all got kids now." she scolded.

"No, he need ta' stop," I snapped. "he the one actin' selfish." I continued. "I thought when Kaedence was born we could put the past behind us and start over, but he keeps screwin' up." I complained.

       Kodeni looked into my eyes as she spoke. "Can I ask you a question sweetie?"

"Sure," I remarked.

"Do you take blame too?" she questioned.
   

   I scrunched my face up in confusion. "Take blame for what?" I questioned.

"You keep blamin' Darien," she began. "but I remember when and you and him got into that real bad argument and you was tellin' me everything."

"Yeah but thats different." I remarked.

"Different?" she questioned. "Yeah, no its the same thing no matter what, and rather or not you wanna' admit it, you two are compatible." Kodeni stood up and began to walk towards the door. Before leaving she turned toward me and flashed a smile and then left out. I looked down to Kaedence and watched as she slept across my chest. I slowly stood up and moved towards her crib. Just as I was about to lay her down she jumped back up. I blew my breath. "Kae bae mama needs you to sleep." I whined. I didn't have time for her possum games; I had tons of homework to catch up on and she was making it difficult.
 

   With Kaedence placed on my shoulder I walked out the room and headed down the hall towards mines. Once inside my room I shut the door. I walked over to my bed and laid her down. I moved around my bed and crawled next to her. I faced forward and went back to the credit recovery that was located on my laptop. The headache I created earlier was now bothering me as I logged on to Plato. "Great," I mumbled as I looked down at the screen. As I opened up the reading thread the marimba ringtone to my silver Iphone5s sounded. "Hello?" I answered.

"Wassup?" Angel asked.

"Nothing just chillin' wit' Kae and doing homework." I told her.

"Aww," she cooed. "I gotta' come see her."

      Not knowing what else to say I chuckled. "Well I got tons of shit to finish up in Plato so I'ma get at'cha later." I told her.

"Okay," she agreed and then seconds later the call ended. I dialed Darien's number and after the third ring it went to voicemail. I pressed the end call button and tossed my phone to the side. As I looked down to the screen I blew my breath; apple never looked so boring.