Layla ( A Dark Beauty Novel) {Urban}

C H A P T E R 17 : The Ugly Truth. (Unfold part 5.)

Thursday

4:56 a.m.

July, 21st, 2014

     4:56 a.m. was the time I read on the Comcast cable box. As I lay next to Diamond on the pullout couch in her living room I silently wept. I felt alone, weak, and tired, and the feeling of sleep was farfetched.  Here it was; I owned a beautiful penthouse located in beautiful downtown Chicago, but yet I and my kids were crashing at one of my best friends cribs. I felt pathetic, like I was letting my kids down at every turn I got.

“Why’d you bring them into this?” I mumbled to myself. I heard Diamond say something but I chalked it up to her talking in her sleep. You ruined their life before they could even know better. I thought as I fought back tears. Even though I didn’t give birth to Junior I felt bad for him too. I was raising two small children in a life that they had no business being in, and I felt selfish because they had no choice but to live in it.

     Why am I being so emotional? I thought. Remembering my dream I huffed and wiped the lonely tear that had fallen. Today was Kallie’s funeral. It was your fault, I blamed myself. Responsibility weighed heavy on me because I was the one who told her she could go out even though it was late. Had it been Junior or Kaedence I wouldn’t dare let them out, so I don’t know what possessed me to let Kallie go out, especially in my mom’s neighborhood. Even though it’s been a month since the shooting, Kallie was a fighter. The surgery was a success, but shortly after, and while in ICU she went into a coma and finally passed away a week ago. Feeling the need to get things off my chest I turned over and tapped Diamond on the shoulder. “Di',” I whispered loudly as I poked her. “Diamond,” I whispered again.

“What Lay?” she asked with an attitude.

“Are you sleep?” I questioned naively as I sat up on the bed.

“No Layla my eyes are just shut.” she answered sarcastically. She dramatically huffed as the covers rustled. I watched as her shadow sat up. “This better be good.” I heard her say as the lamp on the end table flicked on.

    I cleared my throat. “Well as you know today is Kallie’s funeral and I can’t help but to blame myself.” I told her.

   Diamond blew her breath and rolled her eyes. “Not this again,” she mumbled. “Lay look,” she began. “it ain’t yo’ fault.” she said. “You didn’t pull the trigger.” she reminded. “One of Joey’s dumbass workers did.”

“I know.” I agreed. “but you should have just seen the way my aunt looked at me.” I said. “It was as if that woman hated my soul, I never felt that stare from anyone except an enemy.” I told her. “She had a point Di,” I continued. “If I wasn’t involved in this shit what happened to Kallie would have never happened.”

“That crazy bitch don’t know shit.” Diamond scoffed.  “Look I know this gon’ sound fucked up, but that shit that happened to Kallie would have happened regardless, might have went a different way, but it still would have happened.” she said. “If god wants a person he’ll get them, it was just her time to go and you can’t change that, nor keep blamin’ yourself.” she preached. “As far as your aunt,” she continued. “That bitch had no point and she knows that if your dad was still alive she wouldn’t have dared to talk to you like that.” Diamond moved closer to me and wrapped her arms around me. “You don’t have to worry about nobody but Kallie, today is about her.”

“True,” I agreed.

“Okay,” she said. “Now go to bed ‘cause you gon’ hella tired later on today.” She said as she backed away and began to reach for the lamp.