B. U. D. D. Y. S

Chapter 16: Can't Sleep

**that same night**
•Jasmine•

            I was tossing and turning in my bed because I couldn't go to sleep, my mind was racing with thoughts so much that I just couldn't close my eyes.
           I tried to so many times but all I could think about was Dwayne, and how I hurt him. I would never want to hurt him, I love him to much but I can't stop protecting myself because I don't want to get my feelings hurt, I don't want my heart tore into pieces.
            I was really upset and angry with myself, I sat up in bed and started to think. I got out of bed, I put my hair in a low ponytail, slid on my slides, grabbed my keys and phone, and was finna be out.

           I was finna go to Dwayne's house to apologize. As soon and I got to the stairs I walked slowly and quiet making sure not to wake anybody up. I got downstairs it was dark down there so I turned on my flashlight Ion fuck with the dark. As soon as my hand was on the door my mom spoke scaring the shit out of me. "Where you think you going?" she asked. "To Dwayne's House, I have to tell him I'm sorry.." I said putting my head down. "Come here." was all she said.
          I did as was told and sat next to my mom. "Babygirl look at me." I looked. "You are a strong woman and don't you ever forget that, we love you don't forget that either. I know you love that boy but you do what's right for you...you hear me?" she said holding on to my chin. "Yes ma'am" I said. "Thank you...now go get your man." she said to me smirking I just hugged her and ran out the door.
          Dwayne's house was 4 blocks away, that should give you a vision of how close we are to each other. As I got to his door I knocked on it so many times, replaying what I was going to do and how I was going to do it and what I was going to say and how I was going to say it. When Dwayne opened the door he was shirtless and in some grey baggy sweats.
          "Ugh Jazz do you kno-..." I cut him off as I kissed his lips...but the only thing is he didn't kiss back. I broke the kiss and started talking.

             "Dwayne I'm so sorry...I didn't think things through on what I was saying at my house, I'm sorry I turned you down.. I was just too scared to tell you how I felt about this whole thing. But I think I'm ready now..." I took a deep breath as I continued. "Dwayne I'm in lo-..." I was finna say but got interrupted by Kayla. "Ugh baby come back to bed.." she said while wrapping her arms around him, and she didn't notice I was standing there tell she looked at me and smirked. "Hello Jasmine.." She said still holding on to him. "Kayla..." was all I said as I greeted back. "Well umm imma go and leave you two alone, elephant looki bit-.." I cut myself off as I started to run off.

           "Jazz wait!!" Dwayne said as he caught up to me and grabbed onto my arm. "Dwayne let me go!" I said not looking at him, because I don't want him to see me crying. "No look at me and talk to me, let me know what's on your mind.." he said.
          "No thank you." was all I said as I snatched my arm away from him and ran a fast as I could to my house. "JASMINE!!....JASMINE?!??" Dwayne kept yelling after me. But I just kept running till I got to my house.
         I unlocked my house door, walked in, and slammed the door behind me, I slid down it and busted out in tears. "Have you lost your fu-..." My mom was going to continue until she saw me on the floor balling.
          She ran up to me and scooped me in her arms. "Hush hush everything is going to be okay.." she said rocking me back and forth.
           "Mom...i-i-I..f-feel...s-so...s-s-stupid." I got out. "Hush honey we'll talk later but for now just let it all out.." she said as I continued to cry.

***

         A few minutes later, and me and my mom are sitting at the table with tea talking about what happened.
            "So you said you where going to tell him that you about everything and how you where in love with him, when Kayla came out and you ran home?" My mom said. I nodded my head yes as insuring her. "Oh mom I was about to confess my feelings for him...when she came out. Was that a sign that I should give up on him?" I asked looking up at her with sad eyes. "Baby all I can say is...take your time this was probably the right man at the wrong time. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you." She said. "But I do deserve it, I shot him down when he asked me out.." I said looking down.
           "That's probably it he wants to hurt you because you hurt him...he will get over it and realize his mistakes and will do better." My mom said. I stayed silent as she continued. "Baby look at me.." I looked up. "Don't lose who your giving your love to..." was all she said. I just nodded because I didn't quit understand.

           "Thank you mom so much, but I think I'm going to go to bed now..." I said as I got up. "Okay Baby I love you good night.." she said to me I gave her a weak smile and went upstairs. When I got into my room I locked my door and put my phone on the charger. I took my sweats off and my jacket and slides and got into bed. My phone was blowing up. And it was Dwayne.
            I got so damn frustrated and threw my phone at my wall and it broke it. I just started crying and laid down letting my cry's put me to sleep.

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