Public Diary

School

      I barely passed the 7th grade. I missed so much school, and I had a C in every class except science. I love science. I had an A in that class. Anyway, I am so terrified to go back to school because, I want to try harder and be a better student but, what if it happens again? I don't want to be that one girl who is never there. Not again. School is hell for me because there is so much drama and, I despise drama. That's the reason I shut my phone off and put it in a drawer for a week. I don't know if I can do this. I want to be better but, I don't trust myself. I always tell myself that I'll change and, that I can do better but, do I? No. That's why I was in that mess. That's why the truancy officer was breathing down my neck, coming to my house and threatening to put my dad in jail if I didn't go to school every day for the rest of the year. I kept getting scolded by my dad and my sibling about it but, I understood. As much as I hated the dinner conversations, I knew it was my fault.

School is so boring. You don't do anything but, sit at a desk for an hour or more at a time then go home. I like learning but, the way the teachers at my school last year (Besides my science teacher) was so, cut and dry. They would tell us stuff instead of teaching us. They didn't teach right. Especially my Social Studies teacher. She would just give us "Fill in the blanks" notes and then expect us to be experts. That's not how it works. She would tell us to ask questions but, when anyone did, she would say she already explained it and, that if we want to know, to pay attention. She clearly didn't explain it well enough if 10 students at a time would ask her about it. She even gave me a D on an assignment just because I called her out on her nonsense. I did the assignment perfectly. I compared mine with a student she liked and, we had THE SAME ANSWERS! I confronted her about it but, she played it off as a typo in the system. I didn't argue because at least I was getting the A I deserved. She didn't do that again. To me at least.

She was also, sexist and ageist. She would give the guys more attention than the girls and, treat us as if we were stupid just because we were young.

There were plenty of good things about school too. Like, most of the teachers. My ELA teacher was really nice and she supports the LGBTQ+ community openly too. Me and my ex Madi and our friends had nicknames for all the core subject teachers. Hers was Ms. Ally. When I came out, she was really helpful and gave me good advice about friends and all the other things too. I loved how she would never sugarcoat anything and how she would be 100% honest with all the students.

The pep rallies were pretty cool too! Mostly because they let the 8th-grade band students play instead of the gym teachers crap taste in music. She mostly played country music. There is nothing wrong with that genre it's just that she played this one really repetitive one every other song she played. Her pattern would be something like this.

R = Repetitive song
D = Different song
R
D
D
R
D
R
D
R
D
D
R
R
D

The pattern wasn't really a pattern though. It was quite random but, the same at the same time.
I planned on writing more about this topic but, I have a bad headache so...

Kay bye
~♡Marie