Again (Harry Styles)
It was all love and cravings in the start, with stolen kisses and I-miss-yous even after an hour of not talking. When little fights turn into shouts and slammed doors, I never realised.
But I could see him now huddled between skimpily clothed girls, throwing themselves at him. The same cheeky smirk was plastered on his face and I wondered if he'd changed at all in the last year that we had been apart.
The music was tuned out and I was lazily sipping my drink. Thoughts of Harry and me clouded my mind. Soon enough, the air felt heavy and suffocating and I just needed to leave. I wanted to be out of this club, away from him.
In an ocean of people, your face is all I see. H x
My phone beeped and I instantly shot him a look, after gliding my eyes over the text. He never stopped me when I wanted to leave, his life, our relationship. He was bored of me. Why the messages then?
What is that supposed to mean? A x
Happy Birthday! H x
I didn't have a reply. No part of me wanted to thank him but neither did I want to be rude. I thought best to just ignore, while I could.
Without giving as much as a second glance, I left the club. Juggling with my cars, I sprinted into the lot. Coming here was the worst decision. Wanting to spend my birthday alone, was the worst decision.
"Alia."
A familiar confidence ridden tone filled my ears. There was something about the way he carried himself that made him seem even more appealing than what his looks transferred. He knew he was the best thing in the room and that was why it all started. That was why he felt he deserved better.
"I have to go."
His curls pushed back with a rolled bandana as a few managed to escape the bound at the sides. His green eyes looking just as dazzling as the emerald they stole their color from. His arrogance. His cheeky smile. It was all there in front of me and every second that I stood in front of him I was losing the hatred for him, I so desperately had tried to hold.
"You can't spend this special of a day alone." He and I stood only a few feet apart, his hands stuffed in his pockets and gaze dropped to the floor. I felt drawn to him in a way I never wanted to leave.
"Just let me go, Harry." My words came out as a plea though I never meant for it.
"I did once and I regret every minute of it."
I couldn't understand why he was doing this all of a sudden.
"What are you even trying to achieve here?" I tried biting the inside of my cheek to distract myself from the rush of emotions. I couldn't cry. Not right now.
"You. I want you back."
"Harry, it's done." I was just a centimetre away from breaking down in front of him. I had my heart broken once, I couldn't decide if I was ready to open and love him again, like I did.
"Then tell me you don't feel this."
Without giving me a second to register, his hands were at my waist pulling me close. His mouth covered mine kissing me in the way I missed. He flicked my nose before he pulling back to look into my surprise-filled eyes.
"I love you, Alia. And I promise that if you give me a chance, I won't let you down."
In that moment, I knew something I had to do.
Taking my hands in his, I pulled him forward and opened my car door. I smoothly leapt in first and he followed me knowing too well where this was going.
I was on his lap soon and reattached my lips to his. His face in my tiny hands and mine in his, I realised how bad I missed the feeling. But it was hurried and full of emotions.
We didn't even have time to get out of clothes. My dress sleeve was over my shoulder, my chest falling out towards his face and the bottom had ridden up my thigh. His loose tshirt was discarded and his erect length was out of his pants, which wasn't even completely shoved down. Placing my face in the crook of his neck and breathing deeply I sat on his erection. His hands were on my hips, guiding me as I struggled to set up a rhythm. My hair was sweaty, so was his. Breaths shot out in pants, short and huffed.
The feeling was pure ecstasy something I hadn't felt in an infinite time. It didn't take long for both of us to come undone at the actions of the other. I moaned and he released a more manly of the sound. He kissed me as I rode out my high and I loved to be there in front of him. I loved to be feeling like I was. I loved him.
"I'm sorry," he said when our breathing had evened out a little. "I was a dick, Alia."
"You probably were. But I don't want apologies. It's just good to have you back."
He smiled and wrapped his arms around me trying to savour the little moment before we both had to pull apart and adjust our clothes. But after words slipped from my mouth, logical reasoning struck me. When we love someone, we give them a part of us believing they'll take care because love is about taking challenges. Love is about trusting and never losing hope even though you've been burnt. To me, love is Harry Styles.
"Thank you." I smiled.
"For?"
"A lovely birthday."
"Can I tell you something?" He struck a thoughtful pose.
"Anything."
"I know I said things that were very rude and wrong but I promise you I won't let it happen again."
I chuckled noticing how he was still unsure of how fast I had forgiven him. Without resistance, without as much as a single no.
"I trust you, Harry. Because I never stopped loving you. I never stopped believing that one day you'd come back to your senses. That you'd come here, for me, and want me back. I love you and it's unhealthy in a way. But I don't care."
Some people just connect with you well and once they do, you realise they're a part of you that you didn't even know you had been missing all along. And at times, you have to let go of your ego a little and accept the love and affection that comes your way. You attract it because you deserve it.
"I'm craving sugar." He added out of nowhere and laughed. Straightening up, we went to grab what celebratory items we could mange at half-hour to midnight. It was crazy really. But I mostly revelled in the feeling of being whole again.
With him, I felt stupid. But at least I was his stupid.
***
