Fight till the end

Chapter 1 - fallen

Today i woke up with this dreading feeling deep in the pit of my stomach, so i dragged myself out of my pit got showered and got dressed. Then thats when it hit me it was the day Jason was getting released from prison my horrid stepfather that has abused me since i was 6 years old am now 15 years old almost 16, and my mother wants to take him back i pleaded with her not to as i can't stand the horror starting again and told her if she did i was running away. She agreed but i still don't feel confident she has listened to me, she needs to continue protecting me but as soon as she hears him name she melts like a silly school girl.

Anyways i start walking down the stairs and i hear the phone ring and my mother is acting like a silly school girl so i guess he has rang her, but she was telling him he wont be able to come to the house and live or visit they would have to meet up somewhere. My stomach knotted even more so that i wanted to throw up but i pulled myself together continued down the stairs and acted as normal as i could in the situation. She was sat at the kitchen table with a fresh coffee could still smell the freshness and had a smoke in her hand rotten smell it was, she asked how i was i side i am fine she decided to remind me what today was so i just lost it.

How do you expect me to go on with my life when you can't stop talking or thinking about him, i mean like finding a secret place to meet up so you can do things well you know what i mean. That man has killed me inside and you are not helping by standing by him even though what he has done to me what kind of a mother does that to her child. well let me tell you a mother who only thinks about one thing which is having her legs open, going to the pub to all hours and me left alone not knowing if you are going to come home. And you expect me to be OK about everything well as you can see am not he has destroyed my childhood and he is still continuing to destroy my life, well am going to make a changes in my life and no one will stop me and it will be the best for everyone. Don't try and stop me my mind is made up am off to start what will be the rest of my life with or without you bye.

I feel like my mother has never wanted me, she only had me because my dad was there and now i want to be with my dad so now i need to find away to get to him or my life will be over for good.