Settle Down (Matt Espinosa)

Ch. 39

"i want you to want me this way and i need you to need me to stay, and if you say that you dont feel a thing, if you dont know, let me go, if you dont know then just let me go"

MADISON'S POV

It's been two days. I will admit, I've barely said anything to anyone. I hardly even notice their presence sometimes.

I've been relaying every single fight Lexi and I ever had and all the times I wished her out of my life when I was mad. 

I keep analyzing every detail and thinking just maybe, if I hadn't said that to her that one time, then maybe she'd still be here. Or maybe if I never got her involved with the whole Matt thing, or any of this for that matter.

There's even a part of me that blames Will. I mean, how could he just assume that'd machete would stay under her rug forever? Someone would've found out eventually. And the longer Lexi had that in her possession, the more danger she was put in.

And a few weeks ago, when we had that fight. I mean yeah, she was being totally unreasonable. But we still bounced back to where we used to be eventually. And I think what scares me the most is that may never happen again.

What if she isn't found? Or is found, just not okay?

I still don't even know who took her. I haven't watched the news, I've barely left my bed. Someone probably knows, Russell, Matt, someone. But they're obviously not doing a good job using that information if she still isn't back yet.

I shouldn't be talking, because I'm the most unproductive one of them all. But Matt nor Russell even liked her. And they're still doing more than you.

My sub-subconscious is right, as much as I hate to admit it. Nothing is going to get done for either of us if I'm just sitting here moping.

I need to help everyone get to the bottom of this and find her. I need to push away the emptiness and the sadness and as hollow and broken I feel inside, I need to suck it up and get my best friend back because I know for a fact she is feeling ten times worse than me.

So I pushed aside the urge to lay back down and did the opposite, climbing out of my bed and walking down the stairs for the first time in days.

When I reached the living room, my mom was on one couch watching TV and Matt was on the other with his phone. They looked up as I approached and Matt chuckled. "You look terrible."

My mom gave him a warning glare and got up to hug me. 

 "Are you okay honey? Can I get you food? A drink? Wanna go shopping?" She asked me, her hands on my shoulders.

"Actually, I'd like to just talk to Matt."

She dropped her hands and nodded, evidently a little bit hurt. "Alright. I'll be upstairs."

And without another word that is exactly where she went.

"So, are you ready to start working? Because we could really use your help right now." Matt said, putting his phone down.

"I think so. Tell me what you know." I told him. 

"Russell is almost one hundred percent sure Gage has her. All the evidence is there. If either of us interfere, we'll end up in the same position as Lexi. If Russ or anyone else in his gang interfere, they won't hesitate to shoot them or Lexi." He explained. "So it needs to be an inside job."

"John." I said without hesitation.

Matt nodded in agreement. "John."

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A.N: wow i am so incredibly sorry this is taking so long and im so sorry its really short as well. ive been staring at that last sentence for days upon days and had no motivation to push this chapter past that point- so it's best to just give you guys 600 words as opposed to none at all.

sooo... what do you think is gonna go down??

remember to vote / comment / follow me and i'll try my hardest to get updated as soon as i can! love u all so much and its insane that settle down is less than 1k away from 80 tHOUSAND reads!!! what??? thats insane!

(PS DONT KILL ME FOR HOW SHORT THIS IS I REALLY AM SORRY)