Settle Down (Matt Espinosa)

Ch. 18

"girl i really wanna work this out, cause im tired of fightin; and i really hope you still want me the way i want you. i said i really wanna work this out, damn girl im tryin; its no excuse, no excuse, but i got this icebox where my heart used to be"

MADISON'S POV

Lunch had just ended and there were thankfully only 2 periods left today, Mondays suck.

John had walked with me to my next class, making small talk on the way. I still couldn't fully grasp the fact that he asked me out. And not just on a date, to be his girlfriend.

I always thought he saw me as his best friend's little sister. But as sweet and perfect as he is, something doesn't feel quite right with the relationship. I don't know what it is, but it's bound to come around and hit me in the face eventually, right?

Since the twitcam, Matt has been acting strangely nicer. Or at least more civil. I don't know why though, it's kind of unnerving to be honest.

"I'll talk to you later, Mads." John told me as we reached the class, quickly kissing my forehead and walking past me.

I took my usual seat next to Savannah, noticing her 'I need to tell you something pronto' look.

"You have some spying to do after class, I know Matt's in your next class and I've heard Jane has been hanging around him today." She spat out as quietly as possible.

Jane Katills. I'm not one for slut-shaming or anything, but if anyone deserved to be called one it was her. Ask any guy you find in the halls, and chances are, Jane has either been with them, or tried to get with them. It's disgusting, and obviously Matt is no exception.

 I sat back in my seat and let out a sigh. "Fuck."

The class went by so slowly because I was so out of it.  I spent most of the class planning Jane's murder in my head, or at least what to say to her if I see her hanging around Matt. I almost didn't even hear the bell ring.. oops?

I stood up and threw my stuff into my bag, Lexi grabbing my shoulder as she passed me. "Good luck," she whispered before walking out of the room.

I took a deep breath following her out. She's probably not even talking to him or anything. That's a lie. And why the fuck should I care who hangs around him? I don't know, but you do.

I was passing my locker to get to my last class when I found the rumors to be true.

Matt was standing in front of my locker, opening it, looking incredibly uninterested in the girl next to him. Jane on the other hand, was practically on top of him, wearing the shortest shorts and lowest cut top they sell.

I took a detour from my path and walked over to them. "Excuse me, but I have to get stuff in my locker." I stated, giving Jane my fakest smile and wedging myself between her and Matt to reach the locker he just unlocked.

"Um excuse me but that's Matt's locker so why don't you back off?" She countered, her voice fucking annoying, as always.

I laughed. "Actually, sweetie, think again. This is my locker, Matt's sharing it with me because he's just such a good friend." I said, wrapping my arm around his shoulders and squeezing them, before retreating and grabbing one of his notebooks. I wasn't going to barge into this and not even take anything out of the locker.

Matt looked at Jane's exasperated face and shrugged, trying to fight back a laugh. "She's right."

"It doesn't surprise me, Madison. I knew you were a slut but I didn't peg you as the type who goes after other guys while they have boyfriends themselves." She said, smirking.

Matt went to go lunge at her but held himself back after I put my hand out, and chuckled. "That's cute, Jane. I'm sorry you feel that way, since it's not true at all." The bell interrupted our conversation, signaling we were late for class. "Oh, look, there's the bell. Doesn't that mean you're late for one of your daily bathroom quickies? Don't want to keep whoever it is today waiting, Matt and I have a class to get to. Enjoy your day!" I spat out, shutting my locker and grabbing Matt by the forearm and dragging him down the hall, turning around to flash Jane a smile.

"Thanks for saving me back there, she wouldn't get the fuck away from me." Matt broke the silence once I let go of my grip on his arm.

We were close to the classroom, but I wasn't planning on going in.

"It's no problem. Unlike you I actually care." I told him, pulling his notebook out of my bag. His face contorted with sadness as he opened his mouth to say something, but I held my hand up.

"You know, I'm really not feeling next period, I'm just going to skip." I said as he took his notebook. 

"I'll come with you!"

I shook my head as I backed away from him. "No, please don't. I'm fine, just don't feel like getting in trouble for going to class late. I'd rather not go in at all."

That wasn't entirely a lie, but I've never really skipped before. All these emotions are just flooding through me right now and I don't feel like bursting out in tears in the middle of biology.

I walked out the back door to the school and found myself on the bleachers. Were we supposed to be out here during the day? No. Do I care? A little bit. But not enough to turn back.

In the moment of arguments, I don't process what's happening, I just fight back. That being said, afterwards when it's all replaying in my head, everything people say come shooting right back at me for the second time.

I guess that's why people think I don't care about what's being said about me. They just don't see the aftershock, I dunno.

I know I'm not a slut. I'm still a virgin, and I'm dating John. Not Matt. 

But that doesn't stop me from believing it, I mean I've heard it enough to last a lifetime. May as well get it tattooed on my forehead while I'm at it.

I put my head in my hands and waited for the end of the school day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A.N: Sorry this is a tad shorter than usual! 

oh my god mads is making me cry stop my baby girl no :((

janes a biaatatattach haha

remember to comment and like, love you all!

..

reminder:

my twitter = @lukexjaixo

madi's twitter = @madibeli

john's twitter (not rly relevant but... lol) = @JohnHoldenn

Instead of doing Q&As in a new book or in a chapter here, I'll just answer any questions I get on either of those accounts, or you can just send madi/john a tweet and they'll reply back to you! ;))

...

I had a cute little edit lined up to be made and then my photoshop decided to pull a sneaky and be like "lol actually im not going to open bc of update issues but ok"

(i didnt even update my laptop lol fuck that"))

'''' and extra long beginning quote bc i love that song so much and couldnt just take a snippit of that verse haha

anyways thank you for the kind comments & continuous support it means so much to me!