What I Left Behind (boyxboy)

Over, Out.

Now I feel like an asshole.
I'm shaking, holding the picture he handed me. I really don't care about the picture, it's what he wrote on it. The back of the picture is faded a slight tinge of yellow.

What I Left Behind

I look up to Nick, standing in an emotional frenzy. I saw his eyes, they were filling with tears. For a second everything froze.
This boy, the one I couldn't forget about.
The one I never let go.
Standing in front of me, virtually about to collapse. I took in his perfection. The way the shirt hung from his shoulders, he way shorts swayed when he walked. I glanced up to his eyes, his hair was still wispy and wet. His eyes had so much hurt.

I stood up stepped forward.

"I'm sorry" the words cracked out of my mouth. Tears now filling in my eyes too.
He let out an audible sob as we both stepped forward in a hug.
We were both crying.

We moved over to the couch and sat down. He buried his head into my shoulder and sobbed, and sobbed. He would let out a moan every few moments. This lasted for over an hour.

Now, I've been to a lot of funerals, but I've never felt this.

He clung to my shirt and wrapped his arms around my waist as he cried. The words "I'm sorry" escaping from this mouth. I ran my fingers through his hair and squeezed him. I felt awful for going off on him.

He finally took a deep breath and looked up to me, "do you have cigarettes or beer?" He laughed as he tried to stop the sobs. My sweatshirt was wet from tears, both his and my own.

"Both, I'll be right back." I pried his hands off and stood up.

I took a deep breath, regaining control of my breathing as I walked out of the apartment and down the spiral staircase to the truck.

I walked past the tow truck and stopped.
I smiled at the drivers door of truck 622.

At the top of the door it wrote in fancy writing

Operated by:
Nick Andrew Nolan
Owned by:
Big Red Towing Company
North Royalton VT

I grabbed the remaining beers from the bed of the truck, they were still buried in snow. I opened my glove box and found a almost full pack of cigarettes.

I could hear the wind howling outside. The snowstorm bared it's teeth down.
I hurriedly went up the spiral stairs.

I walked back into the apartment to find Nick. Sitting at the table looking at the picture. He glanced up at me and smiled, a single tear falling down.

"I'll put these in the fridge" I told him.
I grabbed him and myself a beer and sat down at the table.

"When did you start drinking again?" He asked, his voice regaining steadiness.

"What?" Confused, I asked.

"Oh, last time I talked to Ally she said you quit drinking after graduating"

"You still talk to Ally?" I ask ignoring his question

"No, no, I ran into her when I was doing a repossession way over in Franconia" he says. Ally lives there.

"I see, yeah it's pretty recent, I am an alcoholic, started in high school" I said sipping my beer.

He shifts in his chair a bit and grabs the pack of cigarettes and lights one up. I do the same. It just seemed right. I did miss smoking.