Naked Tracy's Adventures in Madnessland

Naked Tracy Goes Fishing

"HOO LEEEEEEE SHIT GUYS"  Naked Tracy whispered, cuddling everyone backstage. Nobody there knew who she was, or how she had gotten in through all the security. Seriously, this was Wicked, on Broadway, there was no way she hadn't killed someone to get back here. Nine different people had tried to call security after she showed up and started cuddling them, but each time she had somehow answered the phone and told each of them when they were going to die. Some of the answers had been before she even showed up.

"THIS IS GONNA BE FUCKING SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" 

Everyone shared a glance, because they were all sure they were going to die. Naked Tracy hadn't said a single word since she'd arrived, three hours ago, in the skin of the star. They must think that Naked Tracy was going to murder them again. Nah.

"I love this musical!" She whispered. "Now get out there and KICK SOME ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS." She then realized that in dragging out the word ass the way she had, she was sort of just hissing at them. She kept hissing for a little while longer, cause it freaked them out and it was pretty fun. "Let's get on that stage!" She shouted, boldly leading the charge. 

When she got onstage she saw that all the seats were filled by regular motherfuckers who paid money to watch a show. Those were some classy bitches. She liked their style. So she decided to give them a real good show.

"WAIT" Naked Tracy screamed. "I've never seen this play! Understudy!"

Her plan foiled, Naked Tracy whipped off the skin she was wearing and ran through the audience, emerging on Broadway. She noticed a pretty cool looking police officer walking toward her so shook his hand with a punch and invited him to go fishing with her.

"Wanna go fishing?" She asked. "I've been marinating my lake for months!"

"Sure" said the police officer, who was obviously pretty fucking cool. "Anything to keep out off the streets and away from humanity. Can we bring my friend?"

His friend was this hot ass bitch who looked like a motherfucking ice sculpture. Like one of those good ones shaped like a mermaid or a cat or something. Made out of that ice shit they put in windows that never melted somehow.

"Tight." Said Naked Tracy. "

"Tight." Said the police officer. 

"Right. I mean Tight." Said the police officer's friend. "Typos suck."

"That's church yo," Naked Tracy said, offering a fist for the police officer's friend to shake. She did. It was church, yo.

"What's your name bitch?" Naked Tracy asked as they flew at supersonic speeds. They flew like that because the Earth was terrified of Naked Tracy, and kept trying to throw her away. 

"WHAT?" 

"WHAT'S YOUR MOTHERFUCKING NAME YOU ICE SCULPTURE?"

"OHHHHHHHHHHH I'm Mortina. How did you know I was an ice sculpture?"

"Duh" said Naked Tracy. "I can smell."

"She's got a point" said the chill cop. "You do smell like ice."

Mortina shrugged. "I do smell like ice."

"But like the cool shit they make windows out of," said Naked Tracy.

"Yeah meth."

"Yeah, meth."

"Yeah."

"OKAY SO WE'RE HERE." Naked Tracy jumped out of the sky onto a lake. Her lake. The lake where she lived, she explained to her new friends.