Her pride

The genuine interest

Chapter 30 | The genuine interest

"Whoa!" I gasped as I observed the beautiful room in front of me.

The only word that would describe it is Elle's 'marvellous'.

But this room wasn't just marvellous, it was also unbelievably cozy.

From the cozy looking bed with an unnecessary amount of fluffy pillows, to a large fireplace that was waiting for its use. There was even a spacious balcony overlooking the mountains.

Elle was being Elle as she jumped on my bed, the pillows flying to the floor.

I laugh escaped my throat and I followed my blonde friend to my bed, finally letting my mind rest for a while.

"This is different from our bed in university, right?" Elle mumbled, her body sinking into the soft mattress.

"I can't believe that we're going to spend my first Christmas here" I said and laid next to her.

"Wait, your first Christmas? You don't celebrate Christmas in London?" she looked at me with curiosity.

"As sad as it sounds, we don't" I sighed, my hand gesturing to the ceiling.

"What about your family, your mother and father, don't they like Christmas?" she changed her position, rolling on her stomach.

I thought about my mother. The truth is that I completely forgot about all of the pain, since my arrival in America.

I missed everything about her. The way she held me when ran in her arms, after a nightmare has woken me up. Her cooking even though Olivia was the one that was supposed to cook.

Her laughter.

She learned me how to love myself before accepting love from anyone else. She learned me to look at the world with all its negatives and still say that our world is beautiful. She learned me that fearless doesn't mean not having any fears, it means dealing with them and facing them.

I miss her, I truly do.

"Cat?" Elle asked worryingly.

"My mother" I started slowly looking at the ceiling.

"She has died ten years ago" I managed to say without any teardrops forming in my eyes.

Elle's smile immediately faded, her hand reaching for mine.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to remind you of that. I'm so stupid" her hand held mine.

"It's okay, I believe that she's happier now, wherever she might be" I said trying to calm myself.

Elle still held my hand soothing it softly.

"We always celebrated Christmas together, it was the biggest celebration in the year" Elle started trying to lift up my mood.

"My dad has always brought us white candles from a local shop" she continued.

"They smelled like cinnamon and chocolate at the same time" she laughed at her memories.

I looked at her, my mood lifting up just from seeing her smile.

"Isn't that the reason why you are so obsessed with chocolate?" I joked.

"Maybe" she gave me a genuine smile.

"He has been there for me all the time. If I fell down, he helped me to get up and continue my journey" her smile was still remaining on her face.

"We used to joke that one day I'll have my own bookstore, where he will help me out"

"He was an awesome man" Elle sighed not looking at my face.

I raised my eyebrows, since I didn't want to interrupt her.

"He died two years ago. My mom went almost crazy, she felt miserable."

"It shouldn't have happened. But he had a heart attack"

"My plan wasn't including university. But that day in the hospital, I decided that I'll become a surgeon- a cardiologist" she finished and finally looked at me.

"I know how it feels, to lose someone" I carefully said.

"But trust me, as the time goes on, you'll feel like he's right next to you. Maybe it's because I'm insane or I have hallucinations" I laughed at myself.

"Sometimes I feel.like she's with me, telling me that everything will be okay" her hand stopped caresing mine.

"Really?" she asked, her eyes glimmering.

I nodded giving her sincerity that she desperately needed.

"Life is so unfair" she muttered and looked at our intertwined hands.

"My mother used to say that everything happens for a reason" I looked at her.

"Your mother must have been a great woman" Elle closed her eyes.

"She was and still is" I smiled, feeling happy with our conversation.

"I feel amazing right now" I admitted as I continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Me too" Elle said with her eyes shut.

I couldn't help myself but smiled widely. It's truly weird, just how a small but genuine talk can remove the burden that I'm carrying around for a while.

Elle opened her eyes and focused on the fireplace across the room.

Nobody didn't have to say anything, we just enjoyed the silence, our minds processing each others past.

"Do you think that I won't be a miserable surgeon?" Elle spoke after a while.

"You will be amazing" I said with seriousness.

"Cat" Elle rolled her eyes, her hand leaving mine.

"No seriously, your determination is unbelievable. Plus, you are an extreme extrovert. Even though you have a nerdy side" I smiled at her, meaning my words.

"You'll be a great mad scientist" she grinned at me.

"You lost your sanity anyways" she laughed and covered her bead with one of the pillows.

"Elle!" I smacked her hand playfully.

"Do you know what I look up to in you?" she asked and removed the pillow, letting me to see her face.

I looked at her, curious about what she could possibly look up to in me.

"Your courage" she said with a little smile sitting on her face.

"You're unstoppable, just remember what have we been through. You have always handled it."

"Thank you" I responded not knowing what to say other than that.

"No, I'm thankful that I have met you" she looked at me.

"Yeah, you won't get rid of me that easily" I laughed and winked at her.

"Do you remember the first day that we met?" Elle smirked at me.

"Oh, don't even remind me!" I continued laughing.

"You thought that I was invading 'your' room" Elle started laughing as well.

"I really thought that it was MY room!" I yelled the word 'my'.

"You should have seen your face when I told you that I'm your roommate!" Elle's laughter was unstoppable.

I clearly remembered my face when I have seen the room. Three months ago, if somebody would tell me that I'll find happiness in America, I would sent him to an asylum, saying that he or she has lost sanity.

But now it all changed, I finally found my own happiness here and I'm not planning to leave it.

Unfortunately, our laughter and thoughts were interrupted by a cough coming from the door.