The Newest Wayne [COMPLETED]

Chapter 5~ An Important Decision

Alfred finally finished lecturing Jason before joining the rest of us in the living room. Damian and I were still talking when Tim plopped himself onto the arm of the couch, grabbing the remote on his way down over. "Any movie suggestions?" He pulled up Netflix on the TV.

"Drake." Damian groaned. 

"Disney. Everyone knows it, everyone loves it." Dick leaned back on the couch. 

"Batfuck won't let us go out again today," Jason walked past me, ruffling my hair, "so I'm down for whatever." 

"Don't talk about my father like th-" Damian was interrupted by me, clamping a hand over his mouth. I shot him a pointed look. The last thing I wanted was a brawl in the living room. He huffed through his nose and turned away, seemingly getting the message. 

"Wow, I've never seen Demon Spawn shut up so quickly," Tim smirked. 

"Tim." Cass scolded lightly. 

"Leave it to the Wayne girls to shut these two up." Jason laughed to himself. 

"And Alfred." Dick added. 

"And Alfred." Jason agreed.

"Guys," Tim's cobalt blue eyes went wide as he suppressed a powerful laugh, "I found a documentary on the conspiracy theories about Batman and his identity." 

"Oh God, let's watch it." Dick sighed. 

"We're in it, too." Tim flailed his arms in a gesture that I couldn't quite understand. 

All of us laughed as Tim opened up the documentary. It started out with some cliché music and screen flashes with one of those British guys who seem to all have the same voice saying. "Batman: who is he?" 

"Oh, I wonder." I said sarcastically. Jason laughed again as he sat next to me. 

He waved a hand at me, indicating for me to get closer to him. I leaned towards him and in my ear he whispered: "That bastard won't be giving you problems anymore. Cassie and I got 'em good." 

I chuckled, somewhat awkwardly as an image of Dick in his NightWing suit came across the screen. We all braced ourselves as the dialogue continued. 

The documentary was too funny for us to bare. After about ten minutes, I laughed so hard my bandages nearly came loose. I leaned into Jason, my face spilling with tears of laughter as the creator started making speculations on Red Robin's secret identity. Damian cringed when the narrator said that Red Robin was secretly a woman. Jason gave Tim a light punch in the arm, earning a pout from Tim. Dick lost it when the narrator showed a NightWing photo, taken from behind, and started comparing his ass to other people's in order to find his identity. Damian laughed so hard that he almost fell forward. Cass was screaming with laughter by the end, literally screaming. We all exhaled after the fifty-seven minute doc was over. 

"I..." Dick's mouth moved, no sound came out. "I..." 

"Lost for words?" Damian said as the hysteria died down. 

"Tim's apparently a woman." Jason put his face in his hands, trying to compose himself. 

"My face isn't that feminine!" Tim pursed his lips. 

"The public seems to think it is." Damian said plainly. 

"You say that as if being a girl is a bad thing." I raised an eyebrow. 

"Yeah, what's with that, Tim?" Cass tilted her head condescendingly. 

"I uh...I.." He sputtered.