The Heartbreaker [DISCONTINUED] || S.M.

Chapter 17 || "The Harsh Truth"

AN: 100% completely unrelated to the story but can we just appreciate how hot shawn looked at the VMA's? like oh my god whoever decided to have him wear a white tank & then get WET in it is now my savior??? also his very noticeable tan line had me cackling

Shawn's hand spends the rest of the car ride resting on my knee. He doesn't try to creep it any higher, instead leaving it and there absentmindedly drumming his fingers against my leg as he hums along to the radio. I stare out the window, my mind wandering as I try to imagine what could have possibly happened to Julia. No matter what scenario I come up with, my mind always heads back to Caleb cheating on her. Given her reaction and track record with being cheated on, it just makes sense.

When we pull up to the parking lot outside my dorm room, I expect for Shawn to say goodbye and leave. Instead, he turns the car off and begins to undo his seatbelt.

"What are you doing?" I ask, even though it's already pretty clear.

"Following you up to your room." he says, opening his door and stepping out. I do the same.

"That's okay, I can walk myself." I say, trying to push him away as gently as possible.

"I don't mind walking with you." he smiles. I smile back, but I'm screaming internally. Man, Shawn really doesn't take hints well.

"Okay..."

I shut the door and walk around to the front of the car to meet Shawn. He locks it and wraps his arm around my shoulder, entwining his fingers with mine. We walk slowly.

As we walk, though, I can tell that something's secretly bothering him. I know Shawn well enough at this point where I know all of his quirks and cues. Whenever he gets nervous about something- usually a topic of conversation- he chews on his bottom lip and cracks his fingers. He's been doing it the whole ride home.

"Shawn?" I ask.

"Hmm?" He doesn't look at me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." he lies. Well, at least I'm not the only one who's not telling the truth today. Still, I push him.

"Just tell me."

"I'm worried you might get mad."

My heart skips a beat as my brain instantly comes up with every worst-case scenario in the book. I imagine him telling me, "Helaina, I lied. I had sex with Cara when we were broke up." or worse, "Helaina, I don't like you anymore. I've moved on." Realistically, I know the second way isn't as likely to happen given the past hour, but that doesn't mean the first one is ruled out completely. Just because he said he didn't sleep with anyone doesn't mean it's the truth; he could've said that just to spare my feelings from the harsh truth.

"I won't get mad." Another lie. If he's about to tell me he had sex with Cara, or anyone for that matter, of course I'm going to get mad. I'll try my best not to flip out on him since I already slept with Xavier while Shawn and I broke up, but still. It's hard for me to control my feelings, let alone completely suppress them.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Nope.

"Okay," he says, breathing in deep. I, on the other hand, hold in my breath in anticipation. "Helaina, are we back together? As in, dating again?"

I blink.

That's what he wanted to tell me? That's what he was so scared and nervous over for the entire ride back to campus? That's what he made me promise I wouldn't get mad over?

I let out a loud sigh of relief, followed by a string of laughter.

Shawn's forehead creases up and his grip on my hand tightens. He obviously thinks I'm laughing at him, so I stop.