My thoughts and stories// editing and revising

I am

I am depressed and lonely
I wonder if anyone without my blood will ever hold me in their arms and love me
I hear these voices in my head making me doubt  what I already know
I see people dying everyday, victims of hate or whose demons were not seen
Will I be one of these people, another statistic
Was that the voices talking or me thinking
Maybe it was both
I want it to stop
I am depressed and lonely

I pretend I'm happy and fine, that I don't cry every night, that the depressing things I say are just jokes and not what I actually feel
I feel so lonely and hopeless when I don't have meaningless things to distract me like my phone or school
On summer days when I'm grounded, the demons almost take over
I touch my arms, thinking about self harm but I remember that they're like a beautiful masterpiece and one wrong mark can ruin it forever
I worry that I'll never be loved or fully understood
I cry at night or when I see someone else's pain or the hate in this cruel world
I am lonely and depressed

I understand why people kill themselves or cry at night
I say I'm fine
I dream about one day not having to think about being lonely because there will be someone there for me or maybe just being able to cope with it
I try to fight through and stay strong, not show or tell anyone how lonely I am because they might think I'm just asking for attention or judge me
I hope someday all of the problems we have today are irrelevant
I am depressed and lonely

Authors note- so first poem how'd I do, umm but ya I'm so sorry for all of the self pity in the other chapters I just needed somewhere to spill these emotions