My thoughts and stories// editing and revising

new problems

ok so hopefully no one i know is reading this because that would be very awkward but... i haven't posted in a while so i'm going to now. so i was watching this movie the other day i forgot what it was called but this person wakes up in a new body everyday. and one of the bodies was so inspiring, all of them kind of were in a way. but the person just had such a big personality and i realized that i don't have that at all. everything i do is basic in some way. i buy clothes from specific name brands so i don't look like i'm broke. i act a certain way in front of people so i don't seem like too much. i scoff at certain things because they're "too lame" or "too popular" i don't have any hobbies or play sports nothing that makes me interesting you know. i think the only remotely interesting thing about me is that i'm an online sjw which can be funny to me sometimes. but this movie literally made me cry and realize how dumb life is. like most of us are copy and pasted versions of eachother with a few adjustments. like we all fit into a tiny box whatever it is. i just find it even more interesting because my law teacher has pointed this out several times and i never truly realized it. so now i have a new high school, college, and maybe even life goal... to become larger than life. i want to live life like in the movies and tv shows about high school. i want quirks, and i mean actual quirks not "quirks" like i drink ice coffee i stay up all night quirks i want real life quirks. and like i usually say there is a problem, i care too much about what people think and i'm awkward and shy. i also don't have many friends to do this with so i need to branch out which is going to be hard for me. i'm hoping next school year i'll be better but i'm basically tired of almost everyone in my school that i'm not friends with. and it's only been a year. hopefully i get a car next year and can drive but that still doesn't guarantee i'll meet people because i'm paranoid and will think every stranger i meet is going to kidnap me and sell
me into sex trafficking. so you see the dilemma i have this big goal and every way i can accomplish it my small personality gets in the way. but i have a few months to figure it out.

edit: covid literally ruined everything I can't hang out with people, and talking to strangers with a mask on is awkward. Also i'm not getting my car until this summer but i'm not going to complain bc at least I'm getting a car.